Just a quick note to remind you that sometimes you just have to GO FOR IT!
I get it. I really do. For many years, I just didn't want anyone to know how hard things were and how crazy and unhappy I felt. As a matter of fact, there were days and weeks I didn't believe anything could change even if I knew how.
Well...I am here to tell you that life can be SO much better!
Many years ago I decided to muster up everything I had and just Go For It.
Yes, it usually meant swimming upstream, doing it differently than I had ever considered, questioning from friends and family and those looks from everyone.
I decided it couldn't matter. Neither could the words and behavior from my children; they didn't know how if felt to have a Mom that took good care of them or valued them they were scared. I couldn't take it personally. I just had to keep to the plan and go for it!
It paid off!
I figured out how to parent my daughters so that they could really heal...so that we could have SECURE attachment. So that they could be as happy as possible in life.
The GREAT NEWS is that you don't have to figure it all out alone...you don't have to do any of it alone!
I want to personally invite you to join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group where you will meet with me 4 times a month to tweak YOUR plan, be a part of a closed Facebook group, receive new insight plus tools and techniques that work and a vault full of 12 of my top selling classes and archived IPCG Trainings and Q & A's.
This is huge! Right at your finger tips everything you need to make the shift happen.
Aha moments, breakthroughs and stronger, more solid family connections - that's what we are looking for - and that's what your family can have beginning today!
Today is a great time to join us! With new additions of DEEPLY discounted Coaching Sessions and a video series for School Personnel and one for Family and Friends.
Don't hold back you and your family deserves SO MUCH MORE!
Click this link to GO FOR IT Now!
You know that I totally get where you are coming from. I've been there and it can get tough. Really tough.
Here's what I want to say to you totally out of love and understanding...be sure you aren't so angry or so sad or so tired that you are sabotaging your own success at meeting your child right where he/she is at.
Get Out Of Your Own Way, my friend.
So many parents feel stuck. They don't know what to do to stop the hard behaviors. They question whether they are the right parent for this child. The day in and day out roller coaster of emotions has got them totally exhausted.
I remember it well. It enveloped me.
I remember feeling like I was caught in one of those cartoons where the black cloud follows the character around - I hung on to all the negative stuff so tightly. There wasn't much else in my life.
Rather than fill myself up, I chose to stay empty.
I didn't sleep. I didn't take a break. I didn't do things with friends. All I thought about, all I talked about was how hard everything was.
Now that's crazy! I had a great life. And that's where I realized I was totally sabotaging my own success by not taking care of me so that I could get unstuck.
We get in our own way sometimes.
In order to avoid sabotaging your own journey, be sure to take care of yourself so you can have the clarity it takes to see where your child needs you to meet them.
Invest time and energy into taking time for you, nurturing your closest relationships and surrounding yourself with people that get it. You'll be energized and feel powerful to not be doing it alone.
All of the sudden, you'll have gotten out of your own way.
And then meeting your child right where he's at will become second nature. The hard behaviors and ugly words will dissipate. The connection will strengthen. You will figure out how to be the parent your child needs and can receive.
You will feel the shift. Your whole family will.
Don't let yourself stay stuck. Take care of you, too. It doesn't have to be a month's vacation. Just intentional choices along the way - choices that help you keep from getting stuck in the muck!
P.S. I want to personally invite you to be a part of my Coaching Group - A choice to help you take care of you and to keep you from getting stuck. http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html
Have you ever watched an old Cheers episode? Or maybe you are like me and watched the TV Series the first time around.
Cheers was a hugely popular sitcom that ran for 11 seasons and its theme song was and still is, depending on how old you are, on the tip of everyone's tongue.
It goes like this...
"Making your way in the world today takes everything you got.
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away...?
Sometimes you want to GO—
Where everybody knows your name....
And they're always glad you came....
You wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows your name....
You wanna go where people know
People are all the same
You wanna go where everybody knows your name...!"
I really think Cheers became so popular because it embodied a REAL human need...fitting in somewhere, being part of the group, finding where you matter.
The characters of the show all had their ups and downs, their own distinct personalities, and even some real-life challenges that they brought to the "place" where they felt safe. Day after day they got through life with the support of their "crew." And at the end of the day, they all went back to their own personal journey strengthened by having been around people who were just like them.
I know it's kind of corny, but the reality is that this is what the Intentional Parent Coaching Group has really become.
A place where you can feel safe because everybody gets your struggle - it's their struggle too.
A place where you can share your victories as well as your worries and they'll be there to share them without judgement.
A place where you can just be you.
A place where it's not so much work to feel understood and accepted.
A place that will help lift the weight off of your shoulders.
I remember watching the show and smiling. It was "somewhere" we all wanted to find for ourselves. That place where you can walk into and hear a collective..."Norm!"
One word, one action that says it all - You Matter. You Are Good Enough. You Are Accepted. You Are Loved. You Are Supported. You Are ONE OF US. You Belong Here!
Fifteen or Sixteen years ago when we were in the trenches of this journey, a place like Cheers was what we needed. It was what we craved. It would have been so healing. Our lives would have been changed. It didn't exist then - but I've made sure that it exists NOW - for you!
Like the song says...You wanna be where you can see. Our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name...A powerful tool to get you through.
I want to personally invite you to be a part of my Coaching Group - You're going to be glad you came!
I can't wait to see you in group.
P.S. I just wanted to apologize for the fact that you are now going to walk around all day humming the Cheers theme song :)
The other day I was running an errand for my daughter. Picking up a piece of furniture for her, on the other side of the cities. Since I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t have a navigator with me, it was up to me (and Siri of course).
So…I typed in the address and hit go. No map reading needed. No thinking required. Just drive while Siri gave me step by step instructions. Thank goodness for smart phones, right?
If only everything in life was that easy. Imagine if someone was telling us step by step instructions for parenting. Say this. Now do this. Stop here. How easy that would be.
Well…we all know that’s not how it works. But, seriously, so many parents have asked me to give them the what to do and say in the moment. That’s one of the reasons I created the Intentional Parent Coaching Group.
There are classes to take and workshops to attend. Lot of information and great ideas, but so often parents need someone to tweak it for their family. For their child. Someone to help them when they get stuck or to answer their questions now that they’re putting the tools into play.
There are support groups out there. On line and in person. And I’m a big believer in surrounding yourself with support. The support of those who get it because they live it. And that’s another reason I started the Intentional Parent Coaching Group.
I truly believe parents need all the parts – the education with tools, a place to get a plan tweaked for your family and your questions answered, and the support that comes from those who get it.
The Intentional Parent Coaching group is made up of all 3 of those parts.
Jump in now, try it for a month, and see what a BIG difference it’ll make.
Can't wait to see you in group!
Have you ever gotten to the point when you actually wondered if your child had more wrong with him then just attachment issues or trauma stuff...like, I mean really scary, sociopath stuff that will never heal?
It's not easy to admit. It's not where we want our lives to be. It's not what we want for our children. However, there can be times of such dis-regulation, sadness, confusion, and aggression that the fear of this possibility sets in for us as parents.
I've talked to so many families who are dealing with the constant struggle with hard behaviors such as lying, stealing, or aggression.
They also report that their children don't feel bad or never says "I'm sorry."
And...it all seems to be getting bigger & bigger. They say the feel LOST and don't know what to do anymore.
They're AFRAID. Afraid it'll never change. Sometimes afraid for their other children. And even afraid for themselves.
I GET IT. We've been there and I never want to experience it again. I never want my children to be that hurt and scared ever again either.
You are not alone. You're not doing it wrong. And most importantly, the majority of the time, your child isn't a budding sociopath.
DON'T Be AFRAID. Fear breeds fear.
When a human being, in this case your child, senses your fear and anxiety, it immediately raises his or hers as well.
When our children are afraid or feel unsafe they fight to gain control - they're survivors. The fight is very real to them. Typically it includes harder behaviors, louder, more painful words, or just plain going away physically and or emotionally and more.
It makes things worse.
Fear sets in when you've exhausted everything you know.
Fear blinds you when you're feeling alone.
Fear feeds off of being emotionally challenged day in and day out.
Fear dictates the quality of your life.
Fear continues to exist as long as we let it...fear needs to be fought off!
YOU CAN STOP BEING AFRAID.
You need tools that work, different tools and strategies then you know right now. If you're afraid of your child or how his future looks it's time to try something new.
When we're doing it alone, it's easy to lose objectivity and clarity, which creates a perfect place for fear to flourish. Fight fear by being surrounded by other people walking your same path. By those who have made it to the other side who can say, "Oh yeah, we lived through that too and it will be okay. Here's what to do and say."
The intensity of this journey can take its toll and fear creeps in the cracks. Being intentional about filling yourself up with support and health will strengthen you to fight off your fears.
Your family deserves Happy and Healthy and fear can rob you of that without a fight. Having an action plan in place that is all about meeting your kiddos right where they're at is how you increase the quality of your life.
The reality of the hurts, fears, sadness, missed milestones, confusion, lack of self-worth, irrational beliefs, and other hurdles your children fight each day can make life daunting.
It does take specialized and intentional parenting.
It does mean we have to show our children they deserve a No Matter What & For As Long As It Takes relationship...which is YOU.
They do get intense and misunderstood. And they do get scary.
The good news is...You CAN handle it and you don't have to be afraid!
This is the kind of stuff the Intentional Parent Coaching Group was created from. The reality that we should not do this alone. The need to discover new ways to parent that meet our children right where they are at. The added strength and power that comes from being surrounded by other Parents who are fighting the same good fight. The clarity that comes with being heard and understood.
I want to personally invite you to come and be a part of my Coaching Group.
Your fears will fade away and all of that energy will be directed into making your healing plan work. Your family will feel the shift you have been looking for.
No More Letting Fear Rule Your Family's Life!
P.S. Unfortunately, there is a very small percentage of children who have been so hurt by their life experiences that living in a family is just too much. It is ultimately our job to keep them and the rest of our family safe (including YOURSELF). I am in no way suggesting that any family should endure physical or emotional abuse.
I know how hard you’re working at helping your kiddo. Ever feel like nothing's working? This journey can be rough at times. Lonely. Exhausting. Defeating. Uncertain. I know because I was there.
Seventeen years ago we brought our girls home. Boy, we there some rocky times. But…we’ve made it to the other side. And along the way, I came up with ways to do it differently. Ways that really worked for my girls. And I want to share them with you. I want to help you.
You don’t have to do it alone. You don’t have to stay miserable. You don’t have to settle. I’m reaching my hand out to YOU. Grab hold. Seriously. It can be a whole lot better.
Grab my hand. Let me get you tools that really work.
Grab my hand. Let me get you a plan for your child, for your family.
Grab my hand. Let me hold you up when you can’t take another step.
Grab my hand. Let’s do this together.Let’s get you and your family to HAPPY & HEALTHY.
Join me in the Intentional Parent Coaching Group and you'll be equipped, empowered, and supported like never before. Let do this together! Join me today.
Oh. My. Gosh. I am so excited to tell you about what's going on this month in the Intentional Parent Coaching Group!
August is all about getting YOU and YOUR FAMILY ready for SCHOOL! And getting SCHOOL ready to help your child succeed!
We are going to continue our study of the impacts of TRAUMA and what they look like in your everyday life...especially at school. Then Stacy will help you tweak your action plan by teaching you tools and strategies that will create the shift you are looking for.
In addition to weekly Live Q&A sessions with Stacy, FREE access to the Learning Library full of Stacy's best selling classes (even the newest class that was made for you to share with family and friends), membership in the Closed Facebook Group and DEEP DISCOUNTS on Private Coaching Sessions with Stacy and membership opportunities in our Focus Groups...Members will get to be the part of some incredible bonuses this month!
Bonus #1 - Live Emotional Age Matters Class. Come and discover your child's emotional age range and I'll give you tools &strategies you can use to help your child heal by meeting him right where he is. This is foundational information for any Intentional Parent that should be measured every 6 months or so to help you accurately consider your whole child.
Bonus # 2 - Members will receive access to a an ebook that you can share with your child's teacher and other support staff. This information will help you teach school personnel how to be an extension of you instead of a replacement for you. It will give them tools and strategies to put in place that will increase your child's success and help to create a trauma sensitive environment for all kids. And much more.
Bonus # 3 - IPCG Members are invited to join Stacy and 6 other Mom's on her exclusive BREATHE Retreat. There is still 1 spot left. We are going to dig deep. Rest. Breathe. Start Fresh. Don't miss this opportunity!
This is going to be a great month. Let's work together to help your child, actually your whole family, have your best school year yet!
Just join me in my Intentional Parent Coaching Group to have access to these bonuses my newest video class Supporting an Adoptive or Foster Family 10, made to share with your family and friends, Weekly Q&A sessions with me, membership on the CLOSED Facebook Page and to the Learning Library which consists of my 12 top selling classes and SO much more!
Today is YOUR day! Just click the link
Before I adopted my girls, I was part of a mom's group. We had play dates, field trips, and moms night out. My boys loved playing with the other kids and I loved visiting with the other moms while the kiddos all played.
We talked about life. Parenting. The joys and the challenges. It fueled me and gave me a place where I belonged.
Then things changed. We adopted 3 girls. I became a mom to 6 young kids. My girls came with pain, grief, and anxiety. And with that came a lot of behaviors. Needless to say, our day to day changed.
I was exhausted and worn out. But I knew how much better I felt after mom's group so we went. But it was different. It just didn't feel the same.
I was parenting differently. My girls couldn't just go off and play while I checked out and hung out with the other moms. My girls needed me. Close by. Engaged. With them.
The conversations were different. My struggles were now different from the others. I was dealing with deep loss, grief, and a whole new level of struggle.
I no longer fit. I left feeling alone.
Back then there was very little support for adoptive and foster parents. So I stayed home. Trying my best, but lots of days just surviving.
It was lonely. My friends didn't understand. My family didn't get it. I felt like I was the only one. Doing it alone.
Until. Until I said I'm not the only one. So...I reached out. I spoke out honestly about what we were going through. I found others on the journey. Others who understood what I was feeling, understood what we were going through. Understood because they lived it.
To feel like you're not the only one, to be surrounded by those who truly get it, is crucial on this journey. It's a mistake to try to do this alone. Trust me, I know. Luckily, things have changed since I began this journey nearly 17 years ago. There now is support.
If you're an adoptive, foster, step or kinship parent...you belong in my coaching group. There you'll get your questions answered, be empowered with tools & strategies that work, and be surrounded by the best support out there!
Join us today.
Everyday I get emails or read Facebook posts from so many families that are hurting. Families who feel stuck. Families who are settling. I just feel so bad. It doesn't have to be that way.
I've been in the trenches and am on the other side. For years I have been teaching tools and strategies to families to help them get to happy and healthy and I want to teach them to you too.
So here's my first question...Are you feeling alone? Better yet, do you have a support group around you - one that gets it? Or have you been thinking about joining my Coaching Group?
Now here's my second question...What are you waiting for?
Too tired or feeling too overwhelmed to even think about trying something new? I get that. But here's the thing... having an action plan that works, knowing what to do and say in the hard moments, and being around people that get it is rejuvenating and empowering. You'd be surprised at how quickly you feel the load begin to lift.
Feel like you've tried everything and have found nothing that works? You're just settling, holding on, until your child turns 18? If you haven't been a part of the Intentional Parent Coaching Group, you haven't tried this yet. Being an Intentional Parent means looking at your whole child and meeting them right where they are at. It means getting ahead of all of those fires you are constantly putting out...It Works!
Are you sure you can't afford it? Here's the thing this is about the health of your family. It's about the quality of your every day life. And not only that, the value is crazy! Work with me weekly to create and then tweak your plan, use the Learning Library to keep fine tuning your skills, give and receive support from other families that are in the trenches too. Have access to discounted one-on-one coaching sessions and all of the bonus opportunities that are a part of each month's schedule! I always say...have 7 less fancy coffees a month and you have it paid for. Or do like me...when I wanted to redecorate my house, I sold stuff on the Facebook Garage Sale Site. Financially, the group is SO doable - I've made sure!
Are you doing fine? Yes you may not have the worst of struggles, but you're not happy either. Or you're sure he'll grow out of it. The connection is not what you had hoped. That's because we're looking for SECURE attachment, not just attachment. To achieve that it takes Intentional Parenting. You need the tools that work!
What Are You Waiting For? Whatever it is...re-frame it, override it, be brave, face the challenge, sell it, take the leap, make it work...Quality of Life, your life, is at stake here.
Your whole family deserves the best it can be and I want to help you get there! Don't waste one more minute struggling and waiting...join the Intentional Parent Coaching Group and let's get your family moving towards happy and healthy today!
The other day someone asked me what’s the one thing that would make a big difference for an adoptive or foster parent. My response…there are TWO things that are crucial.
You and your entire family will come out stronger, healthier, and happier if you can surround yourself with that kind of support and guidance. I would love to have you join me in my Intentional Parent Coaching Group. It WILL make a difference!
Let's work together to get you the best support possible.
Join us today. http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html