There is more to life than just fighting for secure attachment.
To stay healthy and strong, it is important to find balance. The journey you are on as adoptive and foster parents is not always easy. The ups and downs can be exhausting. As your children heal, they are like a bucket with a hole in it - you pour yourself in, but never fill them up. Here's the thing, that hole will eventually heal, but until it does you can end up pouring so much in that you lose yourself.
It is key to have another project. One that fills you up. One in which your positive impact is measurable. And lots of time it really helps if it is one that serves other people. I know you are tired and I know it seems like too much. But, I have to tell you that being able to see the difference you make will fuel you more than you can imagine. When you can actually fill a bucket it is exhilarating!
This doesn't have to be done without your child and as a matter of fact it would be a great modeling of how to impact the world in a positive way. So, get out there and find a little place in the world where you can make a difference. Knit hats for infants, work at the food shelf, help a neighbor, hold babies at the crisis nursery, offer your time at the local animal shelter, read to children at schools...the only prerequisite is that it fills YOUR bucket!
Healing will happen but in many instances it is a VERY LONG process. In order stay strong and healthy as the parent you need to take care of you too!