I understand. I really do. As adoptive & foster parents, the questioning. The doubting. The exhaustion. The feeling that nothing is working. The “I’ve tried everything” thinking. The worry. The fear of the future. Trust me, I get it.
BUT…I want to encourage you, to challenge you, to set those aside. Exhausted? Yes, you are! Parenting a hurt child is a BIG job. An exhausting job. But here’s where I’m going to ask you to set that aside. WHEN you get tools that work, and the support you need & deserve, it is less exhausting. Way less exhausting. SO…let’s get you tools that actually work. Let’s get you some new techniques that will make things a whole lot easier. Let’s get you SUPPORT. Nothing working? Oh boy, do I understand that. When we first adopted our girls 16 years ago, I parented with the tools that were working great with my biological children. Guess what…they weren’t working with my girls. I had to parent from a whole different angle. I researched, tried new ways of parenting, and let me tell you, that was a game changer for my girls. A game changer for me. A game changer for my entire family. SO…let me teach you a different way of parenting, a way that will make a BIG difference in YOUR family! Worried about the future? Your child’s future? Your future? Oh do I remember that feeling. I worried a lot! How would my girls function out in the world as adults? Would my oldest would end up in jail? How is all of the chaos impacting my boys? Worried about my future – would we still be struggling like this for the rest of our lives? So…let’s turn that worry into ACTION. Let’s get you and your family into a bright future. Things can be WAY BETTER! I want to personally invite you to my Intentional Parent Coaching Group for adoptive and foster parents. A group of adoptive & foster parents who truly understand. Who get it. Who live it. Connecting on a CLOSED Facebook page. Tools and strategies that actually work. An entire learning library of full length courses.. Weekly Q & A sessions where you can pick my brain, get YOUR questions answered, and get a plan for YOUR family. It's time set those worries, fears, and doubts aside and move to a brighter, hopeful future. It is time to take the leap! Change and healing are happening! Come and join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group Today! And we'll get you going... http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html Can't wait to work together.
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I was thinking back to when we first adopted our girls 16 years ago. Very few people in my life understood what we were going through. They just didn’t understand because they weren’t living it. As time went on, I started leading groups for other adoptive and foster parents. Wow! What a difference. To sit in a room with people who truly understood. So many times someone would say (usually with tears), “I thought I was the only one.”
There is nothing quite like the feeling of being with people who get it. Because they are on the same path. Because they live it. Because they truly understand. No judging. No questioning. Just understanding and support. This journey of parenting that we are on can be a lonely one. Others often don’t get it so they judge. Question. Or even worse…stay away. Thanks to the internet, we can reach out and find others who do get it. And now with Facebook, there are pages and pages of support groups of parents walking the same path. Suddenly, we are not the only one. Suddenly, we are not alone. BUT, here’s the problem… While there is a value to being with those who get it, often there is a piece missing. A big piece. A VITAL piece. Often there is not a way forward. Not tools or guidance to lead parents to change, to healing. Not a mentor who has not only been in the trenches, but who has made it to the other side. I have been part of many groups. Yes, they truly understand. They get it. Often, they are a place to share stories. A place to vent. A place to be heard. A place to be encouraged. But…isn’t the goal more than that? Aren’t we really trying to achieve change? Growth? Healing? So…when I designed my Intentional Parent Coaching Group, I’ve made sure to have all the pieces. A group of parents who truly understand. Who get it. Who live it. Connecting on a CLOSED Facebook page. Tools and strategies to give parents to move forward. Tools that actually work. A mentor who has been in the trenches (trust me, I’ve been DEEP in the trenches), but who has made it to the other side. An entire learning library of full length courses. Quick Two Minute Tidbits – small nuggets you can take in and put into play that will make a difference. Q & A sessions where you can pick my brain, get YOUR questions answered, and get a plan for YOUR family. Intentional Parent Coaching Group is where CHANGE & HEALING are happening! Come and join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group Today! And we'll get you going... http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html Can't wait to work together. Support Group. Team. Allies. Community. Tribe.
I don't care what you call it. It is absolutely essential to your success! Many of us were not brought up consciously KNOWING this, but if you seek it out you will be amazed. This has been proven to me over and over as I work with parents across the globe. It has been a wonderful, enlightening, and empowering surprise to them. Here's what I know for sure about achieving success...there are definitely 3 parts that work together. 1. Passion....keep trying and trying. In it for as long as it takes. 2. Clarity....have a mission and goals. Precise action plan that uses tools and techniques that work to meet your specific goals. 3. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people - people that GET IT...allies, people who support you in achieving your goal Here's what I see... Most parents have got number one down...actually adoptive, foster, grand and kinship parents are absolutely amazing when it comes to passion! Many know they need a plan and are actively searching for it! But, if you don't have ALL three components together your success is in jeopardy...having allies on this journey is often the missing piece! Allies are people in your life that are fundamentally interested in seeing you succeed. It’s your support system… your safety net… your biggest source of inspiration. Sounds great, right? Most parents would love to have as many allies as possible. But they don't! There are 2 reasons why most parents don't have allies. Challenge # 1. Most of the time we have more "negative people" in our life than allies - or maybe it seems like more because they are typically louder and more annoying. Listen, people that don't walk the journey just can't get it. It is okay! Whether they believe you or not and whether they choose to support you or not doesn't make you right or wrong. It doesn't make your parenting choices right or wrong. Stop trying to convince them. The great news is that you can find lots of allies if you seek them out. You CAN create a support system that is more heavy on the allies then the negatives. Challenge # 2. We don't realize there are 3 kinds of allies we need to seek out and surround ourselves with. Let's call them mentors, comrades, and newbies. Mentors - They are the people that inspire you to take action and show you that more is possible. They not only "get it", but they have been there and have made it to the other side. Comrades - The people on the same level as you are. The Parents in the trenches next you. These Moms and Dads “get it” cause they are in the thick of it with you. Newbies - Then there are those who are just entering the journey. These Parents want to "get it" and you can help them. Helping them will help you more then you know. The benefits of building a support network of all three types of allies is absolutely where change and healing happens. Here's the thing, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that being surrounded by like minded people - your allies - is essential to keeping your batteries charged so that you can stay in it for as long as it takes. It helps you stay inspired and motivated to build and follow your action plan and it helps you stay full of passion and dedication to the job at hand. You get caught in the flow. It lightens your load, smooths your path, and pulls you through when you need it. The GREAT NEWS is that you can find all the elements needed for success in my Intentional Parent Coaching Group. Passion, Clarity and surrounded by all the layers of like minded people = success for your child, you and actually your whole family! It is time! Time to make sure your family is where you want them to be. It is possible to be successful; you just have to have the right components all working at the same time and this is it! *** As another bonus, only members of the IPCG get to attend my next class How to Map Out a Happy 2017: Be More Focused, Positive and Hopeful All Year Long With the power of technology and the internet you are able to immerse yourself with other like-minded people no matter where you are. You can find tens of thousands of people passionately pouring their souls and hearts into helping their children heal. Here's how it works. As a member you get: One one One access to ME 3 times a month My Live monthly "Training to use TODAY" session A CLOSED Facebook Group of other parents doing what you are doing - no judging and questioning just 24/7 support Weekly check-ins and tweaks in our CLOSED Facebook Page and FREE access to ALL future classes I teach! PLUS Access to the Learning Library - My top 8 selling classes + archived recordings of my Intentional Parent Coaching Group Trainings IT's TIME! Just CLICK the LINK below and let's get you started on the path to success! http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html It kind of feels like CONTROL has become a dirty word. Adoptive & Foster Parents are always afraid to say that they feel like they have no control over their child or over their family's life.
I want to say this loud and clear...It is totally okay to want to feel like you are in control as parent - as a matter of fact your children need you to be. It's your job. Yes, being controlling can be bad. But being in control of what your children get to do, what rules they will follow, and when things will change means you are protecting them, valuing them and creating situations in which they can be successful. However, when it comes to adopted & foster children who only feel safe when THEY are the one in control, it's a constant battle to do your job as parent. Blaming, lying, sneaking, calling names, not listening and so many other behaviors work to push you to lose your self-esteem, your own emotional regulation and even your hope for the future. Little by little it's as if you are losing control over your whole life. It is time to put an end to that! The key to feeling in control is to be that safe, unshakeable, no matter what parent your adopted or foster child needs in order to feel REALLY safe. How do you become that safe, unshakeable, no matter what parent? You must ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN! Knowing what to say and do in the moment, creating an emotionally and physically safe place by being able to manage any ocurrance, and meeting your child right where he is and parenting him there all happen when you have a plan. Healing happens when you have a plan. Your child feels safe when you have a plan. You feel confident when you have a plan. You have life IN CONTROL when you have a PLAN! You need a plan that shows you when, where, and how to take action, a plan that is consistent and doable and yet a plan that is flexible so that you can meet your children where they are at - humans ebb and flow. An action plan combined with a mentor and other parents who get it and support & new insight at your fingertips is going to put YOU back in control again! Then you will see your family begin to THRIVE again. Come and join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group and get your plan in place! You are a GREAT MOM and your family needs YOU to be in control. Here's how it works; As a member of my Intentional Parent Coaching Group you will have full access to 13 of my top selling classes + archived recordings of my Intentional Parent Coaching Group Trainings PLUS
Now all YOU have to do is CLICK the LINK below and let's get you started on the path to feeling like yourself again and a more peaceful connected family! http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html Can't wait to see you in the Coaching Group. With love and dedication to the health of your family, Stacy Manning Last night I made some time to go to a movie and out for dinner. Time to connect with a friend. Time to take care of me. I have to be honest, I don’t do that very often. In fact, I don’t make time for me as often as I should (or as often as I need). But what I know is that on this parenting journey, we NEED to be taking time for to fill ourselves up.
I know, I know. There just doesn’t seem to be enough time. Your kiddos need you. Your to-do list is a mile long. By the end of the day, you are EX. HAUST. ED! I get it. Trust me, I get it. But here’s the deal…this journey is a long one. And it takes a whole lot of commitment and stamina to keep keepin’ on. The reality, if you are depleted, you do not have the full reserve it takes to pour into your family. To give your kiddos all that they need. So I challenge you (and I’m challenging myself) to make the commitment to take care of YOU! Little ways or big ways. Something that FILLS you up. Something that gives you a little oomph, a little “I’m so glad I did that”. Find at least one thing to do just for you this week. And next week. And the week after that. You get the idea. Call a friend. Go out for dinner. Get your nails done. Grab a comfy blanket and watch a favorite show or a new movie. Stop at the library and find one of those “can’t put it down” books and make some time to read. Volunteer for a charity that means something to you. Bring a meal to a neighbor. Do something crafty. Journal. The list is ENDLESS. Jot down your favorites, choose one or two or several, get them on your calendar and MAKE THEM HAPPEN! You deserve it, but even more importantly, you NEED it! And your kiddos will even benefit – you will be refueled and recharged. Ready, set, GO! I am SO excited to tell you about my new Learning Library!
So, as you know I started this journey 16 years ago and often felt totally alone, uninformed, and like I was failing myself, my child and my whole family. Yes, I could find info about some of the stuff going on with my kiddos. I could find the whys about the things that were happening but the reality was that no one could really tell me HOW to be a Mom to my girls. You know...that in the moment what do I say, what do I do stuff that we deal with every day - no one could really help me. This is the stuff I now know makes all the difference in the world when it comes to progress and healing. How we handle the everyday is what rewires unhealthy beliefs and attitudes that trip our children up. How we handle the everyday is what leads to better self regulation. How we handle the everyday is where trust, hope, and self-worth grows. How we handle the everyday is how we give our children the "one and only" they desire and deserve and so much more! When I started doing things differently, being more INTENTIONAL then I had ever imagined, when I started using tools and techniques that met our children right where they were at, our life began to SHIFT. The shift included peace, calm, trust, break-through after break-through. My whole family was healthier. I felt more competent and happy. Life changed for the better. Okay, back to the exciting news. As always my passion is to support other families who are stuck or struggling. You don't have to do this alone. I want to show you how to create a SHIFT for your family too. SO...I have put together a Learning Library for YOU! No, it is not a lot of WHY WHY WHY only. The why is there...but the HOW is the FOCUS! They include tools, techniques, what to physically do, what to say, how to ask others for support and so much more. Here's the Great News! I have paired up 2 POWERFUL RESOURCES to arm you to take your family TO & BEYOND break-throughs and health. Full access to my Learning Library AND membership in my Intentional Parent Coaching Group! When you combine my Learning Library with my Intentional Parent Coaching Group you get: My top 8 selling classes + archived recordings of my Intentional Parent Coaching Group Trainings PLUS One one One access to ME 3 times a month My Live monthly "Training to use TODAY" session A CLOSED Facebook Group of other parents doing what you are doing - no judging and questioning just 24/7 support Weekly check-ins and tweaks in our CLOSED Facebook Page and FREE access to ALL future classes I teach! Now all YOU have to do is click the link below and let's get you started on the path to peace, calm, break-through, and a much happier life for your whole family! http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html The other day I ran into a mom who was part of our homeschool co-op several years ago. My mind flashed back to those days. My daughter was really struggling then. In fact, our entire family was really struggling. But, it was important to me as a homeschooling mom to give my kiddos some opportunities – to learn from other teachers and to connect with other kids, so I set up a co-op.
As I try to do with all my parenting choices, I had to meet each of my kids where they were at. For some, they could jump right in, choose some classes, and be pretty independent. Others needed more of me so they were in classes I taught. For my oldest daughter, it was not easy so I had to keep her close, come up with a way it would work best for her. Initially, I got a lot of questions from other parents. Why can’t she be in the other classes like her peers? Why are you so hard on her? And those were just the questions they asked me. I’m certain there were more that they didn’t directly ask me. To be honest, it was really hard. Hard to be questioned. Hard to have my parenting skills doubted. Hard to be judged. Hard to do it differently than everyone else. But it was the only way it was going to work for my family. It was what my daughter needed, what she deserved. The gal I ran into the other day was the mom of two girls, one who had special needs. She understood about meeting a child right where they are at. She understood having to do things differently. The difference, her daughter’s special needs were visible. My daughter’s wounds and needs are often INVISIBLE to others. That is what often brings about the questioning, the judging, the doubting. So if doing things differently than everyone because that’s what works best for my child makes me look crazy, CALL ME CRAZY! Are YOU with me? For as long as it takes and NO Matter what, Stacy Manning P.S. Let's do this together! What to say and do in the moment, how to deal with others, how to create an action plan that works and SO much more is where you can be as a member of my Intentional Parent Coaching Group. I will teach you how to make a difference every day. It's time to stop just surviving and start thriving! Click here for more information and to get started today! http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html Just a quick note to remind you that sometimes you just have to
just GO FOR IT! I so get it. For many years I just didn't want anyone to know how hard things were and how crazy and unhappy I felt. As a matter of fact, there were days and weeks I didn't believe anything could change even if I knew how. Well, I am here to tell you that life can be SO much better! Many years ago I decided to muster up everything I had and just Go For It! Yes, it usually meant swimming upstream, doing it differently than I had ever considered, questioning from friends and family and those looks from everyone. I decided it couldn't matter. Neither could the words and behavior from my children; they didn't know how if felt to have a Mom that took good care of them or valued them they were scared. I couldn't take it personally. I just had to keep to the plan and go for it! It paid off. I figured out how to parent my daughters so that they could really heal...so that we could have SECURE attachment. So that they could be as happy as possible in life. The GREAT NEWS is that you don't have to figure it all out alone...you don't have to do any of it alone! I want to personally invite you to join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group where you will meet with me 3 times a month to tweak YOUR plan, be a part of a closed Facebook group, receive new insight plus tools and techniques that work and a vault full of 8 of my top selling classes and archived IPCG trainings and q&a's. This is huge! Right at your finger tips everything you need to make the shift happen. Aha moments, break throughs, and stronger, more solid family connections - that's what we are looking for - and that is what your family can have beginning today! Today is a great time to join us. You can still get in on January's LIVE training webinar. Don't hold back you and your family deserves SO MUCH MORE! Click this link to GO FOR IT Now! http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html It’s that time again…the time when we take stock of our lives and look ahead with hopes, dreams, visions, and goals. We make those resolutions that we think this year we’ll really do. Lose the weight. Exercise. Eat healthy. Get those closets organized. Declutter. Pay off credit card debt.
Those are really great – and would genuinely make a difference in your life, but I want to challenge you to look deeper, to look at what would really make a difference. A difference in not only your life, but in your child’s life, in your entire family’s life. A real difference that will greatly impact your child’s future. Now that should be on the goal list of every single parent. I know, I know. It’s overwhelming. You feel like you’ve tried everything. You’re exhausted. You’re not sure what to try next. Some days, you don’t even feel like trying at all. I get it. I really get it! The good news – it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, 2017 can be a whole lot brighter, a whole lot happier. My next live webinar is just the answer – How to Map Out a Happy 2017 For Your Family. It’s a step-by-step plan that I will walk you through. It will make a HUGE difference in your year. And more good news – in my Intentional Parent Coaching Group, we will be focusing on creating a vision, setting goals and mapping your family’s action plan. And even better news – as a member of my Intentional Parent Coaching Group, you will get FREE access to this live webinar. But the BEST news – 2017 can be a HAPPY new year for your family! Join us today. It’s going to be a great year! Click the link: http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html My phone has been ringing off the hook and my email is full of messages from Adoptive & Foster Parents. Yes, It IS a challenging time of year for parents of adopted & foster kiddos. How's your crowd doing?
Here's some important information that will help you succeed: Perspective holds power! Your point of view can really give you the power to help your adopted or foster child turn everything around. It defines your approach to everyday challenges, helps you see the hard stuff in life from a new slant, and is the base from which a can-do attitude is formed! Remember...I'm an adoptive parent as well as a biological one and I'm not going to lie; there have been days - okay let's be real - there have been years in which I believed I had tried everything to help my daughter heal and I didn't see much hope for our future. Difficult behaviors and ugly words seemed to be all there was. I really couldn't see a way out. Everything was about surviving the moment and I was so busy living moment to moment that it kind of consumed me. I just kept making the same kind of parenting choices over and over even though they weren't working. I couldn't come up with another plan. I really began to lose hope. In one of my clearer moments, it hit me like a ton of bricks...I do have the power to change things for all of us. I realized that I needed to shift my perspective. My attitude and point of view needed an adjustment. I got caught up in just dealing with what was right in front of me rather than seeing my whole child. I realized that our everyday was being survived as if I didn't have anything to say about how it all went down. I did have something to say about it! So, to shift things to a more healthy and happy path I had to be able to see every moment from a NEW ANGLE. I had to meet my children right where they were at. I had to focus on the good. I had to parent differently. The power my new perspective held was literally life changing. We went from surviving to thriving! The real TRUTH is that YOU have something to say about it for your family too! It's time to take a stand - not necessarily a big loud scream it from the roof tops one, but an inner one that changes your EVERY DAY. It's time to start seeing your child and his challenges from a new point of view. It is time to fight for the life you all deserve. It's time to regain that positive hopeful attitude that used to carry you through life. IMAGINE IT...a calmer life, a more connected feeling, and forward movement in the right direction. Work to see things from another angle, to have a positive attitude, and to be open to trying new ways of parenting. You'll see, break-throughs will begin to happen for your child, for you, and really for your whole family! YOUR Perspective has a HEALING POWER! I know it's hard to know where to start. It might even seem a little overwhelming, but don't let that stop you! It's absolutely an incredible time to shake things up and start living life the way you all were meant to. A NEW YEAR is almost here - TAKE YOUR STAND. You have something to say about your family's happiness. I want to help you all thrive! I want to personally invite you to join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group and make 2018 a whole new chapter in your story. Being a part of this group will absolutely work to fuel your mission As a member you get: -a monthly training -weekly LIVE Q & A sessions online to get YOUR questions answered -a 24/7 place to get support from other parents that get it. -tools and techniques that work -bonus training videos and an entire Learning Library of classes Make 2018 the year your family experiences the break through you ball desire! Don't wait, this is the PERFECT TIME. And...if you get signed up by Dec 31st, the first 30 days are 1/2 price! http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html |
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