I watched a child the other day being reprimanded for his behavior...at one point the man who was with him said, "You have got to learn to be a MAN!" To which the young man replied, "I don't know how, no one has ever taught me." Needless to say, the man was moved by this reply and couldn't speak for a moment. Then he quietly said, "You are right" as he pulled the young man into him and lovingly hugged him.
This whole scenario took about 30 seconds and I don't know who the adult man was in this boy's life, but I really liked his reaction! (I have a suspicion he was an adoptive or foster father.)
Such a great example of how we really need to remember to look at our WHOLE child! In the good and in the bad, our adoptive or foster son or daughter is more than any one given moment or behavior. He is a product of his past and a work in progress in his now!
Be intentional in your parenting! Let yourself parent your child based on his story, his experiences, his beliefs. It takes years and years to balance that out with the good that is YOU and the opportunities you offer!
Make it your vow to look at your WHOLE child - the parts you can see and the parts you can't!