I was thinking...
PERCEPTION is everything! As I look back over the last 13 years I see that I kept running into situations where if my perception of the moment or the person or myself had been different, the outcome would have been VERY different! I would have been happier, my life would have been more peaceful, my children would have felt understood and hopeful.
Understanding that the key to positively surviving this journey is in our ability to perceive what is REALLY the truth in the moment is so important! So many times we experience life through an out of date, unprepared, injured filter. One that is foggy and cracked. One that should be repaired especially as we embark on the journey of helping a hurt child heal.
Problem is, most of us don't know that our filter is flawed nor do we understand that those flaws are a large part of the hurdles we face everyday. It is so important to identify our own "stuff" and then be able to move it out of the way so that we can meet our children right where they are. Once we change out our lens for a clearer one we can embrace an attitude of openness which allows us to gain the knowledge we need to do "it" differently and use a parenting approach that is much more intentional then we have in the past.
We begin to become keenly aware that our perception of every moment has to be based in all that we know about our child...his past experiences, the impacts of trauma he suffers, his beliefs about himself and others, his grief and losses, his WHOLE self! We can better perceive what his behaviors are about, what his words are really saying, and how he really feels about us. We can be his parent. We can love him the way HE needs to be loved.
Relationships are a two-way street - even parent child relationships. Our children need us to figure out how to understand them. The only way we can do that is to open ourselves up to change. Our perspective about how things should be or how our child should be at any given moment needs to meet his abilities at any given moment. Take a look at your filter...does it allow you to see your WHOLE child?
Remember...you are NOT alone!