 The other day I was driving home from lunch with a friend and a billboard caught my eye. The top of it said "Fear is contagious."
How true is that? As Adoptive & Foster Parents, our minds can race with questions. You know, those questions of doubt and fear. What if my child doesn't securely attach? What if my child grows up and wants to be with her birth family and not us? What if I'm messing things up for my child? What if...? When we are in that spot, those questions can spiral. They keep coming. And the doubt and fear increase more and more. And that is not good...not good for us as parents, not good for our kiddos, not good for our families. Here's the 2nd part of that billboard that said Fear is contagious....but so is HOPE! Hope is what can squelch those doubts and fears. And once we start having hope, it is easier to be hopeful, easier to see the hope. And easier to share the hope...with other adoptive and foster parents, with our significant others, and with our children. So both fear and hope are contagious. Which do you want more of? Decide and then focus there. If you're in need of some hope, I will share mine with you. Hope for you and hope for your family. You've got this!!
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 Trauma. It's something that you hear a lot about these days.
For our adopted and foster kiddos, it's not just a trend. Not just a buzz word. It's real. VERY real. Most people can understand that kiddos who experienced neglect or abuse have been impacted by trauma. And they have. But not everyone can wrap their heads around the idea that ALL adopted and foster kiddos have experienced trauma. Our adopted and foster kiddos were born to another mother. Attachment with her began in utero. They are wired for her. And when they came to us, there was a breach in that attachment. And that is trauma. Whether they came to us at day 1, year 1, or year 10, they have come to us impacted by trauma. When we can understand that, truly understand it, it will make a big difference. |
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