Just a quick note to remind you that sometimes you just have to GO FOR IT!
I get it. I really do. For many years, I just didn't want anyone to know how hard things were and how crazy and unhappy I felt. As a matter of fact, there were days and weeks I didn't believe anything could change even if I knew how.
Well...I am here to tell you that life can be SO much better!
Many years ago I decided to muster up everything I had and just Go For It.
Yes, it usually meant swimming upstream, doing it differently than I had ever considered, questioning from friends and family and those looks from everyone.
I decided it couldn't matter. Neither could the words and behavior from my children; they didn't know how if felt to have a Mom that took good care of them or valued them they were scared. I couldn't take it personally. I just had to keep to the plan and go for it!
It paid off!
I figured out how to parent my daughters so that they could really heal...so that we could have SECURE attachment. So that they could be as happy as possible in life.
The GREAT NEWS is that you don't have to figure it all out alone...you don't have to do any of it alone!
I want to personally invite you to join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group where you will meet with me 4 times a month to tweak YOUR plan, be a part of a closed Facebook group, receive new insight plus tools and techniques that work and a vault full of 12 of my top selling classes and archived IPCG Trainings and Q & A's.
This is huge! Right at your finger tips everything you need to make the shift happen.
Aha moments, breakthroughs and stronger, more solid family connections - that's what we are looking for - and that's what your family can have beginning today!
Today is a great time to join us! With new additions of DEEPLY discounted Coaching Sessions and a video series for School Personnel and one for Family and Friends.
Don't hold back you and your family deserves SO MUCH MORE!
Click this link to GO FOR IT Now!
You know that I totally get where you are coming from. I've been there and it can get tough. Really tough.
Here's what I want to say to you totally out of love and understanding...be sure you aren't so angry or so sad or so tired that you are sabotaging your own success at meeting your child right where he/she is at.
Get Out Of Your Own Way, my friend.
So many parents feel stuck. They don't know what to do to stop the hard behaviors. They question whether they are the right parent for this child. The day in and day out roller coaster of emotions has got them totally exhausted.
I remember it well. It enveloped me.
I remember feeling like I was caught in one of those cartoons where the black cloud follows the character around - I hung on to all the negative stuff so tightly. There wasn't much else in my life.
Rather than fill myself up, I chose to stay empty.
I didn't sleep. I didn't take a break. I didn't do things with friends. All I thought about, all I talked about was how hard everything was.
Now that's crazy! I had a great life. And that's where I realized I was totally sabotaging my own success by not taking care of me so that I could get unstuck.
We get in our own way sometimes.
In order to avoid sabotaging your own journey, be sure to take care of yourself so you can have the clarity it takes to see where your child needs you to meet them.
Invest time and energy into taking time for you, nurturing your closest relationships and surrounding yourself with people that get it. You'll be energized and feel powerful to not be doing it alone.
All of the sudden, you'll have gotten out of your own way.
And then meeting your child right where he's at will become second nature. The hard behaviors and ugly words will dissipate. The connection will strengthen. You will figure out how to be the parent your child needs and can receive.
You will feel the shift. Your whole family will.
Don't let yourself stay stuck. Take care of you, too. It doesn't have to be a month's vacation. Just intentional choices along the way - choices that help you keep from getting stuck in the muck!
P.S. I want to personally invite you to be a part of my Coaching Group - A choice to help you take care of you and to keep you from getting stuck. http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html
Have you ever watched an old Cheers episode? Or maybe you are like me and watched the TV Series the first time around.
Cheers was a hugely popular sitcom that ran for 11 seasons and its theme song was and still is, depending on how old you are, on the tip of everyone's tongue.
It goes like this...
"Making your way in the world today takes everything you got.
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away...?
Sometimes you want to GO—
Where everybody knows your name....
And they're always glad you came....
You wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows your name....
You wanna go where people know
People are all the same
You wanna go where everybody knows your name...!"
I really think Cheers became so popular because it embodied a REAL human need...fitting in somewhere, being part of the group, finding where you matter.
The characters of the show all had their ups and downs, their own distinct personalities, and even some real-life challenges that they brought to the "place" where they felt safe. Day after day they got through life with the support of their "crew." And at the end of the day, they all went back to their own personal journey strengthened by having been around people who were just like them.
I know it's kind of corny, but the reality is that this is what the Intentional Parent Coaching Group has really become.
A place where you can feel safe because everybody gets your struggle - it's their struggle too.
A place where you can share your victories as well as your worries and they'll be there to share them without judgement.
A place where you can just be you.
A place where it's not so much work to feel understood and accepted.
A place that will help lift the weight off of your shoulders.
I remember watching the show and smiling. It was "somewhere" we all wanted to find for ourselves. That place where you can walk into and hear a collective..."Norm!"
One word, one action that says it all - You Matter. You Are Good Enough. You Are Accepted. You Are Loved. You Are Supported. You Are ONE OF US. You Belong Here!
Fifteen or Sixteen years ago when we were in the trenches of this journey, a place like Cheers was what we needed. It was what we craved. It would have been so healing. Our lives would have been changed. It didn't exist then - but I've made sure that it exists NOW - for you!
Like the song says...You wanna be where you can see. Our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name...A powerful tool to get you through.
I want to personally invite you to be a part of my Coaching Group - You're going to be glad you came!
I can't wait to see you in group.
P.S. I just wanted to apologize for the fact that you are now going to walk around all day humming the Cheers theme song :)
So many parents come to me worried that they are not helping their child heal. They comment on not knowing what to do or say in those difficult moments. Actually, many believe they are making things worse. They want me to help them do it differently.
Here's my answer...it takes an Action Plan.
Having an action plan allows us to be ready to respond to the challenges. We can be proactive rather than reactive. By becoming proactive, you will be more likely to say and do the most healing thing at the roughest of times. And you will be more apt to meet your child right where they are at - and that's where healing happens.
When there's a go-to plan, everyone feels more successful. Everyone IS more SUCCESSFUL. You find clarity about what to do next. You will also experience a lot less stress and find that your energy and zest for life increases.
Ultimately, having an Action Plan in place - one that includes support, tools and strategies that work and a way to measure its success - allows you to experience joy right next to the challenge. Now that's what we are all looking for, isn't it?
Let me help you get your family's Action Plan in place. You will feel the shift you have been waiting for. My Coaching Group has everything you need to get your family to Happy and Healthy.
Finally, know what to do and say in the moment! Join me in my Intentional Parent Coaching Group
Success. Joy. Healing. That's what we're talking about!
Does the phrase "I forgot" trigger you? It can't be real, right? It happens all of the time. No one forgets that much!
Well, the TRUTH of the matter is that it is REAL! Short term memory struggles are definitely an impact of trauma and a result of high anxiety.
Children who come from where our kids come from carry with them impacts of that trauma. Their Limbic Systems have been "over used" and flooded with brain chemistry that has physically impacted how their brains developed.
In the moment it helps to think of that area of the brain being like Swiss Cheese. Sometimes the neurons connect, but most of the time they miss each other. There are holes now. When they miss, your child deals with challenges remembering.
Short term memory and the Limbic System don't just deal with remembering the names of things or the order of things. They also help your mind and body to remember what experience or person is safe or not. In addition, they also help you remember so that you can apply what happened yesterday to today.
We are talking DEFICIT NOT DEFIANCE. Not having these abilities is the source of so many triggers.
Knowing that "I forgot" is real and meeting your child right where he/she is at is where healing happens. Do what you need to do to help your child be successful in these areas and you will feel the shift towards trust, self-confidence, and a more peaceful every day.
P.S. Not sure how to meet your child where they are at? Join me in my Intentional Parent Coaching Group today.
We will get your Action Plan in place TODAY!
HOPE. It’s not just a fluffy ideal. Not just some feel good goal.
It’s real. It’s powerful. It’s necessary. In fact, that’s why I named my business after it - Hope Connections. It’s why I chose my website name. www.ToHaveHope.com. Hope matters.
I’m pretty sure when we all began this journey of parenting, we had HOPE. Hope that our kiddos would do alright. Hope that being part of a family would make things okay. Hope that we’d make a difference.
Enter in reality. Enter in some challenging behaviors.
You know the ones, right? The ones where we start to question if what we are doing iss even working. Questioning if it’s ever going to get better. Questioning if we are even the right parent for the job.
Trust me, I know how that feels.
When I began this journey 17 years ago, I was filled with HOPE. But it didn’t take long for that to change. My daughters came to me with a lot of hurt, a lot of fear. They had lost their primary attachment person, their biological mother. And it impacted them in ways I couldn’t even imagined.
I began to worry. Worry if I really could make a difference. Worry if it was always going to be like this. Worry about their future. Worry about my family…all of us. My girls, my biological children, my marriage, myself.
I started to lose HOPE.
But here’s the hard truth about hope…if we lose hope for our kiddos, they lose hope for themselves. And without hope, they’re sunk.
I know that can feel like a lot of pressure, but it’s the truth. Our kiddos need us to be their hope. They need us to have hope for them, because many of them have already lost the hope they have for themselves.
If we lose hope, it’s going to get worse. A lot worse.
So…you need to do what you can to hold onto hope.
What I really believe that every parent needs on this journey to be able to hold onto hope is SUPPORT. The kind of support where you’re surrounded by those who get it. The kind of support where someone can help you with new ways of doing things, ways that work. The kind of support where you can a plan for yourself, a plan for your family. The kind of support where you can get answers to all those questions.
The kind of support where you are surrounded by hope.
So I encourage you, wait, I urge you, to make sure you are in a place where you are getting that support so you can hold onto hope. For yourself. For your child. For your family. For your future.
If you're ready to get that kind of support, join me in my Intentional Parent Coaching Group today.
You'll be supported with all you need to hold onto hope...for yourself and for your child!
You are strong enough to handle this; you just need to put some hand holds in place to help you along the way
I've been hearing from so many parents about how they wonder if they are strong enough to stay on this journey. They are asking themselves if they are the right parent to really help their child heal. I totally remember thinking the same things years ago. Do you ever go down this path of thinking?
There is one thing I know for sure...my answer to ALL the moms & dads and to you is a great big confident, Y.E.S. you are STRONG enough!
You were brought to this child for a reason. You were meant to be his or her parent. YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH! And what most parents need to be reminded of is that it takes strength to ensure that you have handholds in place in your life to help you hang on when the going gets tough. So that you can stay in it for as long as it takes.
I really believe that there are 4 very effective handholds we should all have in place:
1. We need to ensure that we can have some joy in our lives...joy right next to the challenge. This can be done by continuing to fight to see and be filled up by the good in your day.
2. Being surrounded by the support of people who get it. Who have lived it. Who are living it.
3. Getting yourself on the calendar. Taking some time to fill yourself up.
4. Don't get so rigid or stuck that you can't meet your child where he/she is at - cause that's where healing happens.
Listen, from one parent to another...this is key. And I'd really like to teach you how to get these handholds put into place in your life. They fuel that strength. They create clarity. They inspire and energize you. They ensure that you and your family can have joy even as you work on healing.
It's your time to feel STRONG. It's your time to move your family to HAPPY and HEALTHY.
Let's work together in my Coaching Group to make it happen asap...come join me!
P. S. THIS MONTH ...1 hour Private Coaching Session with me available to all Intentional Parent Coaching Members for only $30.00 - don't miss it!
When I was a young mom before we adopted our girls, I learned that my boys would rise to my belief in them.
Lots of my friends would complain about their babies not being able to get rid of their pacifier or be weaned off of the bottle and they were so frustrated. They were feeling the pressure from family and daycare to grow their children up. And the stress of things like difficult bedtimes or potty training had even become a strain in their marriages.
They were so stressed and so were their kids.
I learned early on that if I was unsure of or couldn't envision those milestones happening, they didn't. When I knew it would be fine, my boys sailed right through. We were both at the same place.
Then we adopted our daughters and for a time I lost that mindset. It didn't seem to work anymore. They weren't sailing through. I began to question myself and my parenting. I even lost hope that things would get better. I just couldn't see how things would change.
It began working again when I learned to meet my daughters right where THEY were at. We needed to be at the same place and I needed to make the move. I realized that they needed the chance to work through their childhood with me as their mom. They needed me to know they could do it too.
When I knew, believed, & had hope...so did they.
Here's the thing...if you can't see that break-through and healing is possible, you won't find it. It won't work.
It IS POSSIBLE! You will "know" you can get your family to happy and healthy when you have to have the tools and strategies at your fingertips that will make the difference. Your vision is clearer when you are surrounded by people who are on the same journey. And your confidence in meeting your children right where they are at comes from the support of a mentor who has walked your path and is on the other side.
The Intentional Parent Coaching Group is where I can show you how to meet your children right where they are at so that they can get to happy and healthy!
With dedication to helping your family to Happy and Healthy,
Here in the U.S. it’s Labor Day today. And that means it’s the “Unofficial End of Summer.”
Another summer coming to a close. Another summer where I say “How the heck did that go so fast?” (Sheesh, I sound like my mother).
For me, I love the change of seasons. It actually feels like a fresh start. A time to start anew. A time to re-evaluate…where I am and what I want to accomplish. A time to look at where my kiddos are and what we can do differently.
How are you doing? Is your child doing well or are there somethings you need to work on? Is your relationship with your child strong and connected, or still a work in progress?
Time to evaluate. Time to strategize. Time to try something new. Time to get a plan.
I say, BRING IT ON FALL! I’m READY!
With dedication to helping your family to Happy and Healthy,
P.S. A new season is the perfect time to jump into my Intentional Parent Coaching Group. Let's make this change in season a great change for your and your family!