 I want to share some EXCITING news with you!
Probably the part of my Intentional Parent Coaching Group that parents find the most helpful are the LIVE sessions. They get to pick my brain, ask their questions, and get a plan specific to their kiddo’s needs, one that works for their family. It’s the piece where they get the support they really need. I got to thinking. If that part is really helping parents, let’s make it easier for them. So…starting this week, we are going to now do those calls weekly. Meeting online LIVE every week. Having a rough month? You will have the opportunity to ask me your questions. Every single week. You don’t have to wait until the next month. Can’t make a call? You will get the recording, but you will also know that there will be another call next week. And the week after. And the week after. You get the idea. Every single week. I want to come alongside you and give you all the support & tools you need to feel empowered and supported to get your family no longer just surviving, but actually THRIVING! In my Intentional Parent Coaching Group, you'll get:
Your child, your family and you are worth it. Let’s get you the support and tools that are going to make a HUGE difference for your family! Looking forward to having you JOIN US!
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 My two kiddos who are homeschooled are graduating this year. So I came up with what I call a Brilliant Idea – a senior project. Each project is tailored to each child and taps into their passions, their strengths, and some areas they need to work on.
The first step for each of them is to create a vision board. They will have to look out a little ways, not just what is right in front of them. Where do they want to go? What are their goals? And of course, it got me thinking about us parents on this journey… When I was in the trenches years ago, most days I didn’t look too far out into the future. I was just surviving and that meant going day by day, and sometimes minute by minute. When I did look to the future, it often worried more. What if my daughter didn’t attach? What if her tantrums and meltdowns and all those push back behaviors didn’t improve? Would we still be dealing with that every single day, even years down the road. It became easier to not look forward. And the reality is, I was too tired and too busy putting out fires to give the future a whole lot of thought. But that wasn’t really helping me get to where I wanted my family to be. So I shifted. I started looking out ahead. How did I want my family to be? What were my goals for myself, for my family, for my kiddos? It was time to start having a vision. Goals. A brighter future. And here’s the deal…once I was clear of where we were headed and the goals I had for my family, it gave me the motivation to figure out how to get us there. It helped me get unstuck. And we all know that if Mom is stuck, we’re really not going anywhere. I encourage you to look out ahead. Imagine how you want your family life to look. Picture your kiddos where you hope they will be rather than where you worry they will be. Write down your goals – for you as a parent, for your family. Have a destination of where you are headed. Make a vision board. And once you have a vision of where you are going, then you can work on getting there. The future IS bright. It may not be how you originally thought it would be when you first started on this journey, but I assure you, there is hope. So focus on your goals, your dreams, your hopes and then do whatever you can to get you and your family there. Ready to get your family headed in the direction of healing and thriving? Come and join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group Today! And we'll get you going... http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html  I understand. I really do. As adoptive & foster parents, the questioning. The doubting. The exhaustion. The feeling that nothing is working. The “I’ve tried everything” thinking. The worry. The fear of the future. Trust me, I get it.
BUT…I want to encourage you, to challenge you, to set those aside. Exhausted? Yes, you are! Parenting a hurt child is a BIG job. An exhausting job. But here’s where I’m going to ask you to set that aside. WHEN you get tools that work, and the support you need & deserve, it is less exhausting. Way less exhausting. SO…let’s get you tools that actually work. Let’s get you some new techniques that will make things a whole lot easier. Let’s get you SUPPORT. Nothing working? Oh boy, do I understand that. When we first adopted our girls 16 years ago, I parented with the tools that were working great with my biological children. Guess what…they weren’t working with my girls. I had to parent from a whole different angle. I researched, tried new ways of parenting, and let me tell you, that was a game changer for my girls. A game changer for me. A game changer for my entire family. SO…let me teach you a different way of parenting, a way that will make a BIG difference in YOUR family! Worried about the future? Your child’s future? Your future? Oh do I remember that feeling. I worried a lot! How would my girls function out in the world as adults? Would my oldest would end up in jail? How is all of the chaos impacting my boys? Worried about my future – would we still be struggling like this for the rest of our lives? So…let’s turn that worry into ACTION. Let’s get you and your family into a bright future. Things can be WAY BETTER! I want to personally invite you to my Intentional Parent Coaching Group for adoptive and foster parents. A group of adoptive & foster parents who truly understand. Who get it. Who live it. Connecting on a CLOSED Facebook page. Tools and strategies that actually work. An entire learning library of full length courses.. Weekly Q & A sessions where you can pick my brain, get YOUR questions answered, and get a plan for YOUR family. It's time set those worries, fears, and doubts aside and move to a brighter, hopeful future. It is time to take the leap! Change and healing are happening! Come and join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group Today! And we'll get you going... http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html Can't wait to work together.  I just have a short message for you today. And it is the most important few lines I will ever say to you...
Never call yourself a failure as a parent in any way, shape or form. You show up everyday - no matter what. You give more of yourself than anyone could ask. You forgive and start fresh over and over again. You love and love and love. You are the root of successes and hope day after day. There is NOTHING I am more sure of -YOU are your child's BEST Chance at Healing!  I was thinking back to when we first adopted our girls 16 years ago. Very few people in my life understood what we were going through. They just didn’t understand because they weren’t living it. As time went on, I started leading groups for other adoptive and foster parents. Wow! What a difference. To sit in a room with people who truly understood. So many times someone would say (usually with tears), “I thought I was the only one.”
There is nothing quite like the feeling of being with people who get it. Because they are on the same path. Because they live it. Because they truly understand. No judging. No questioning. Just understanding and support. This journey of parenting that we are on can be a lonely one. Others often don’t get it so they judge. Question. Or even worse…stay away. Thanks to the internet, we can reach out and find others who do get it. And now with Facebook, there are pages and pages of support groups of parents walking the same path. Suddenly, we are not the only one. Suddenly, we are not alone. BUT, here’s the problem… While there is a value to being with those who get it, often there is a piece missing. A big piece. A VITAL piece. Often there is not a way forward. Not tools or guidance to lead parents to change, to healing. Not a mentor who has not only been in the trenches, but who has made it to the other side. I have been part of many groups. Yes, they truly understand. They get it. Often, they are a place to share stories. A place to vent. A place to be heard. A place to be encouraged. But…isn’t the goal more than that? Aren’t we really trying to achieve change? Growth? Healing? So…when I designed my Intentional Parent Coaching Group, I’ve made sure to have all the pieces. A group of parents who truly understand. Who get it. Who live it. Connecting on a CLOSED Facebook page. Tools and strategies to give parents to move forward. Tools that actually work. A mentor who has been in the trenches (trust me, I’ve been DEEP in the trenches), but who has made it to the other side. An entire learning library of full length courses. Quick Two Minute Tidbits – small nuggets you can take in and put into play that will make a difference. Q & A sessions where you can pick my brain, get YOUR questions answered, and get a plan for YOUR family. Intentional Parent Coaching Group is where CHANGE & HEALING are happening! Come and join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group Today! And we'll get you going... http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html Can't wait to work together.  The other day, my kiddos were reminiscing about some of the great field trips we’ve been on over the years. Historical museums, a Native American center, the Science Museum, a fort, and so many more.
My boys talked about the time we went to an indoor rock climbing gym. Some of my kids tried rock climbing for the first time, while a couple cheered them on from the sidelines. I have to say, there was a range of emotions. Excitement. Anxiety. Fear. Trepidation. Pride. As we were remembering and talking about it, I thought it seemed like a great analogy for what we are doing as parents. Our kiddos are growing, climbing, stretching, reaching, and trying new things. But thankfully, they get to do it in the same fashion my kids got to do rock climbing. With a harness. With someone below holding the rope, assuring their safety. With someone offering guidance – reach to your left, put your foot on that hold. With someone cheering them on. With someone saying “You’ve got this!” And with someone to cheer them on and pick them back up if they didn’t succeed. For many of our kiddos, their start in life was without a harness, without an assurance of safety. As we put those measures in place, they may not trust it. Some may even feel uncomfortable, too vulnerable. They may fight against it. But…with consistency, time, and commitment, they can begin to trust our safety net – and just imagine the new heights they will be able to reach! So…keep on being your child’s safety net. His harness. His guide. His cheerer. His support. P.S.-If you need help building that Safety Net, I would personally love to help you do that. And I have created the absolute best "place" to do it. The Intentional Parent Coaching Group - get started today! www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group  Have you ever done anything more challenging than the journey you are on right now?
Most moms and dads I work with would answer a very strong No -Never! to that question. This is a very difficult job and healing can be a VERY long process. Many times these kinds of mental, physical, and emotional challenges can begin to take a toll on every part of your life. Your marriage. Your self esteem. Your health. Your other relationships. You can end up feeling and literally being SO alone! It's understandable that you don't take a class or want to get involved in a support group - the reality of everything that is entailed in helping your child heal can be difficult and alienating. I have so lived it. Honestly, I couldn't believe some of those thoughts, words, and choices actually came out of me. I mean I didn't even know that "stuff" was inside of me. And to tell you the truth...I really didn't want anyone to know how much I questioned myself! I was going to figure it out on my own! The truth is there wasn't really an option. There were no support groups and no one talked about the difficult side of trying to parent hurt kids (I suppose they were just like me). I found myself becoming more and more stressed and unhappy. We were not heading in the direction I wanted my family to go. Doing this alone was just not working! As I opened up about my reality, others did too. I brought them all together and the power of us walking this path as a group was amazing! I found new strength. New direction. I started seeing things more clearly and began to parent so much more intentionally than I ever thought possible. It was also then that I committed to making sure no other family had to do this alone. The truth is...doing this alone is a mistake! I can't say it loud enough or strong enough...surrounding yourself with people that get it and those that get it AND are on the other side is the ticket to your success. That kind of energy helps to keep you in it for as long as it takes. That kind of experience arms you with strategies that have been tested and tweaked. That kind of mindset holds you up when you are tired. That kind of heart that doesn't ever judge! I want to personally help you and your family get there too. I have brought together all the pieces so that your family doesn't have to do it alone. You have a choice to be a part of a group of parents who are heading the same direction you are! You are NOT alone...make the choice to move towards healing and change. Please don't settle. It is a difficult job, but there's another direction you can take. But trying to take it along will trip you up. Become an Intentional Parent - and the fastest way there is by surrounding yourself with others that get it! More energy, new strategies that are already tried and tested, people that get it, an action plan that works, new belief in yourself, and a new vision of life and your child's healing! It's ultimately up to you...I know for sure that doing this job alone will get you none of the goodness you are looking for. Don't waste another moment - YOU are your child's best chance of healing - I want to help you make breakthroughs happen! My Intentional Parent Coaching Group has EVERYTHING you need to be successful! Come and join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group TODAY! And we'll get you going... http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html Can't wait to work together. With love and dedication to you and your family, Stacy  Have you seen the movie Lion yet?
My husband and I stole a couple hours away the other morning and went to see this movie. It was especially fun cause it felt like we were skipping school or something - a movie at 10:30 in the morning on a Wednesday. Who does that? Well, we saw the chance and grabbed it! The first word I could actually utter after it was over was, WOW! I enjoyed every minute of it with tears streaming down my face for most of the movie. Lion is based on the true life story of Saroo Brierly, who as a young child was separated from his family in India and then adopted by an Australian couple and relocated to Tansmania. As an adult, Saroo can't shake the memories of his birth Mother and siblings. He became engrossed in finding them. The reality is that I may have to write more than one blog about this movie as there were so many great (real) themes running through it. The first to come to mind was the representation of the real hardship and trial this child and most of our children have been through before our paths crossed. His start was across the ocean, but the fear, confusion, and sadness represents all of our children well. The second theme that rang so true was that of the desire of the adoptive parents to give a child love. It is how we all start - many thinking that is all it will take. But the parents in this movie choose to stay in it over and over again - no matter how difficult. (I could totally relate) They were a No Matter What and For As Long As It Takes family. The third, and for me, the most powerful and moving theme was the main character's struggle to just "move" on. Live his life. Try harder. Be thankful. All the things that people say who don't get it! He was, in general, happy and he loved his Adoptive Parents (his words). He definitely had more opportunities to create a really great life for himself than if he would have stayed in India. However, there was still a hole. One he couldn't ignore. He couldn't move forward. It froze him, even though a great life was laid out in front of him. The perfect girl. A loving family. The perfect job. Good friends. It haunted him. That loss hung over him day in and day out. I know so many children who are living with that same hole. Some don't have a choice as to whether or not they try to fill it. For some, it would be unsafe both physically and emotionally. For others, they wouldn't know where to start - no memories and no documentation. And many more of our children live through repeated loss as they see their birth mom and then lose them again, over and over. And for others, if and when they do find their family, they experience the pain of loss all over again when it doesn't work out. The same hole...so many children across the world. This movie did such a great job of presenting things realistically...not all the sugar coating usually around adoption situations. Not perfect, but SO much better than any other movie I've seen. Why the tears you ask? I revisited my children's pain and struggles. I revisited my own pain and struggle too. I felt like I was UNDERSTOOD.  Have you ever been more exhausted in your whole life?
Most moms and dads I work with would answer a very strong No -Never! to that question. This is a very difficult job and healing can be a VERY long process. Many times this kind of mental, physical and emotional exhaustion begins to take a toll on every part of your life. Your marriage. Your health. Your other relationships. It's understandable when parents don't take a class or get involved in a support group - I mean it just feels like one more thing to figure out how to fit in and you're already at your max! Well, I've lived it and I really want you to hear from someone whose made it to the other side...you're tired cause you're always reacting to the situation. Always cleaning up the emotional messes of someone else. Cleaning up other people's stuff is EXHAUSTING! So the question becomes...Are you okay with things just staying the same? I mean, how much longer can you really keep this up? I have been right where you are and honestly it was killing me. I found myself becoming more and more unhappy. No matter how much energy I put in, I just didn't feel things were changing. I started losing my view of the light at the end of the tunnel. Then I started seeing everything more clearly and became so much more intentional in my parenting than I ever thought possible. I got ahead of the game and met my children right where they were at. And it began to Lighten My Load! This is when we all started feeling so much better. I felt energized and empowered. Things started calming down. Life was so much more doable. Your life can be so much more doable too! I REALLY want that for you. As a matter of fact, I want to personally help you get there! (and farther) We'll take it one day at a time, one step at a time. Together! How? By becoming an Intentional Parent. No more cleaning up messes. No more backed into a corner in your own house. No more walking on egg shells. No More Being Exhausted! Instead, I want you to feel powerful. I want you to have a plan that works. I want you to feel like a good parent. I want to show you how to lighten your load. AND YOU WILL! Don't waste another moment - life can be so much better! I have brought together all the best I can give you and now it's your turn to feel strong again. Come and join my Intentional Parent Coaching Group Today! And we'll get you going... http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html Can't wait to work together.  What is that one behavior that leaves you with one foot in the relationship and one foot out?
We all have them. Spitting. Lying. Stealing. Grunting. Chanting. Eye-Rolling. Slumping. You know what I mean...what is yours? Mine changed periodically, but I think the one that was the most difficult for me was the lying. Over and Over. Even if they watched me watch them doing what they said they didn't do. Especially when the proof was sitting right in front of them. Ugh... I must say it really kept me a step or two back in our relationship. I wasn't proud of it then and I'm not proud of it now, but it was the truth. But honestly, once I became an Intentional Parent and decided to do it differently, those behaviors were less and less a problem. I began to use the Healing Formula I created to Parent my children in a more healing way. Finally putting the Behavior Breakdown Technique into play helped me to meet my child right where she was so that the behaviors had different names and different impacts on me and our relationship. Our whole family felt the shift! I know it's hard. And I for sure know how tired you are. I also know that having a plan - tools that work - is energizing and empowering. I know that change is ultimately what you are looking for; I was too. You know what else I know...you have to go after it! Sure, you can settle and say that it's not going to change anyway or that you've tried everything and then NO it WILL NOT change. You have to go where the change is happening! Get caught in the flow of other people who get it. Parents who want what you want for your family. And parents and professionals who have been there and are on the other side with knowledge and experience to help you get there more easily! I have some REALLY exciting news for you today... I want to personally help you and your family to feel the shift too! I care about you and your family so I want you to have the benefits of the Behavior Breakdown Technique at your fingertips. Here's where you begin... As of TODAY, my most attended class - Lying, Stealing and Other Push Back Behaviors - is now included in the Intentional Parent Learning Library! AND in March, I will be holding a bonus Q&A to answer YOUR questions about how to deal with the Push Back Behaviors YOU are living with. The ABSOLUTE BEST NEWS...It's ALL FREE to the members of my Intentional Parent Coaching Group! Membership not only gets you access to the Learning Library (which is packed with over a dozen of my top selling classes) it ALSO INCLUDES: -Meet with Stacy 3x/month to get your questions answered -A monthly "Training to use Today" Live session and q&a -Recordings of all of the sessions and the ability to ask questions on Facebook when you can't be Live -Membership in our Closed Facebook Group -24/7 Support by members who are in it with you -Weekly check-ins and tweaks -FREE registration to any class I teach and SO much more Come to where change is happening - Get Started Today! http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html Can't wait to work together. |
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