This weekend I had the privilege of spending time with friends to celebrate the birth of a new little baby. As we took turns holding him, he squawked and wiggled. Eventually he began to cry, but as soon as he was back in his momma's arms he settled. It was like watching attachment in action. He smelled her and knew he was home. He knew - yet he was only two weeks old. Actually, he knew the moment he came into this world. That's how a primary attachment works.
As adoptive and foster parents, we need to remember that our kiddos had that same kind of connection with their birth moms. Even if they were only with them for a short time and even if it was unhealthy. They come into this world with a connection already started. And that connection was broken.
That kind of connection is what we are trying to build. It takes time. It takes consistency. It takes trust, and that does not come easy for a child who has had such a deep loss. But that kind of connection is what will propel our children forward. It is what will help them feel safe. It is what will allow them to spread their wings and soar, knowing they have a safe place to fall. It is what will assure them that someone will always be there for them NO MATTER WHAT.
So, keep your feet firmly planted, friends. Choose to be very intentional, move your own stuff out of the way and keep your eye on the goal...building a strong, secure attachment. The quality of attachment that heals deep wounds. Attachment that creates family.
Take care and remember...you are NOT alone!
P.S. Secure attachment should be our goal and achieving it takes time, tools that really work and to be surrounded by the support of those who truly understand. You will find ALL of that in my Inner Circle. Join me today and you will see healing happen. Click here for more information or to register http://www.tohavehope.com/stacy-mannings-inner-circle.html