Not too long after we adopted our girls, things changed. A lot. My girls were struggling. I was struggling. My family was struggling. But...something else changed too. The relationships I had with family and friends changed.
Some pulled away. I wasn't able to reach out like I had before. So often we were just getting by, barely hanging on some days. And for some of my family, they didn't know how to deal with that. Perhaps I had changed and they didn't know how to help me so they stayed away.
Some questioned, and often I felt judged. The fact of the matter is, they just didn't understand. They had not been on this journey and parenting kiddos who had come with deep loss does look different sometimes. It has to. And most of the time, my girls didn't let anyone else see their struggles. So if I shared about the challenges we were dealing with at home, others looked at me as if I was crazy. As if I was just being crabby or mean.
I lost friends along the way. And for awhile, I didn't feel as close to my family as I once had. Eventually, I got things turned around for my family. I learned a ton, tried new parenting strategies, and my girls began to heal. They began to trust and know that they had a "one and only". Know that they had a "No Matter What Family."
I began teaching family and friends about what I had learned. Once they could understand why I was parenting the way I was, and when they could see that my family was happier and healthier, they began supporting me in a whole new way. What a difference that made. The reality is we ALL need a support team.
So many parents come to me hurting, feeling isolated, feeling judged by their family and friends. Many have lost friendships or a going it alone. If that's you...let's get you the support you need. The support you deserve.
In the Intentional Parent Coaching Group this month, we are getting families SUPPORT.
Here are just a few things we have going this month.
A 35-45 minute video you can share with your extended family and friends. Supporting An Adoptive, Foster, Gaurdian, Kinship or Step Family 101 This video will help them understand and open up dialogue so that they can help support you in helping your child heal.
Two Drawings for a One Hour Live Team Coaching Session. This is meant to be used with extended family and/or close friends that are a part of your every day life. This session will help get your team on the same page.
Free template: To My Support System... This template can be used to educate family, friends and others as to your goals, plans and hope for your children. It will also help them understand their role in your child's life.
Let's get you really surrounded by support.
See you in the Coaching Group!