Happy Mothering Sunday

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Happy Mothering Sunday to all the mums in the U.K. and across the globe!

To My Adoptive Mother 
     (written in adopted child language) by Stacy Manning 

On Mother’s Day I can’t just think of You.
I am not sure one person can love two moms,
I wonder if I am supposed to choose...
maybe if I choose her, she’ll choose me this time. I am not good enough. 

On Mother’s Day I can’t be only happy that I have you because it means I don’t have her.
I am sad. 

On Mother’s Day I can’t just be peaceful
I am so worried I am going to mess up, I don’t understand what is really expected from me;
I just want to run away or crawl in a hole.
I am anxious. 

On Mother’s Day I can’t believe I am good enough to have a mom like you.
I know that mothers leave...
Before you leave me I have to push you away so it won’t hurt so much. 
I am scared. 

On Mother’s Day I can’t feel vulnerable enough
to show you how much I need you.
I will need to create a smoke screen of behaviors, words and choices that will cover that vulnerability up. 
I am a survivor.