Holidays and Your Adopted or Foster Child

Well, just to be sure we are getting into the holiday swing here, the weather is a combination of freezing rain to snow. If I wasn't ready before, this weather shift always pushes me to face the reality - the big holiday season starts in under a week.

Seventeen years ago, we celebrated our first Thanksgiving as a family of 8. We had just finalized our adoption and brought our girls home. Wow, talk about facing reality.

I had all of these DREAMS for my daughters. My dreams included laughter, smiles, hugs, loving feelings, time together, sharing, new traditions, family, more and more family.

There was some of that sprinkled in, but some of those dreams were missing and the missing stuff (plus some not-so-great behavior/words) were blamed on the facts that we were speaking different languages, the newness of it all, and everyone just being overwhelmed.

Honestly, as time passed it got more and more difficult.

The holidays looked great to the outsiders. All the kids (3 biological boys and 3 adopted girls) were dressed up cute. There were smiles on their faces as they opened gifts from Grandmas and Grandpas. They tried all the delicious treats and said please and thank you nicely. 

However, on the inside it was a whole different story altogether!

Inside our family was a MESS! 

The girls were miserable and acted out constantly (when others weren't looking). The boys were totally thrown off by all of the chaos that happened behind our closed doors. Our marriage was stressed.

We distanced ourselves from others because we felt judged and unsupported. I felt like an awful Mom, Wife, Daughter, Granddaughter, Niece, Cousin, and Friend. I really felt very alone.

Out of a deep desire to get my family back in shape, I began doing things very differently and our mess began to take on a new more positive and happy feel. 

I tweaked and tweaked how I parented. I researched, read, and attended any training for adoptive and foster parents I could. I found the tools and techniques that worked to help us all enjoy the holidays. 

I learned to meet my children right where they were at and they began to be more and more successful - soon my family was in such a better place! (And so was I).

If you are like I was and you dream of giving your children the experience of a loving, joyful, peaceful, family-filled holiday, it would be my honor to help you get a plan in place that would include knowing your whole child, identifying the impacts of trauma your child is tripping over, measuring his/her emotional age, and tools and techniques that you need to be successful (and so much more)! 

You'll be ready to tackle the tantrums and crabbiness head on, create a holiday time where your family and friends help you help your children not sabotage you at every turn, and start looking forward to the holidays yourself!

We are diving into strategies for the holidays in the Intentional Parent Coaching Group to help you look forward to and enjoy the holidays more...

1. We've added #1 Best Selling Class Surviving The Holidays into the Learning Library in the Intentional Parent Coaching Group for members to use free of charge and at their convenience. This class also includes the Surviving the Holidays Checklist and a Template for a letter to family and friends to help them support you better.  

2. Every week we are doing a LIVE Q & A so you can zero in on your holiday and fine tuning your plan so that it works! 

3. For the Month of December, the coaching group will be 50% off. Just use the discount code MyGiftToYou. 

It's the perfect time - Let's get you started!

Just click this link, www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group 

Join the Group, Watch for an Email, Get into the closed Facebook Group and then into the Learning Library and get started with the Surviving the Holidays class....then I'll see you in the Live session. 

You are going to be so relieved!