I don't know about you, but I just got tired of the yelling and arguing - especially when it came out of MY mouth!
Here's the thing...parenting a child who doesn't seem to listen, who always seems to be trying to be in control and who usually does the opposite of what you ask is SO frustrating. I so get it.
I remember times when my daughter would argue with me about anything and everything. How I walked. What color the sky was. You know...AN.Y.THING!
Sometimes I could keep it together, but WAY too many times I lost it. I yelled - she yelled, it was a yelling fest.
And the big reality was...I felt like CRAP afterwards. This was NOT the kind of Mom I wanted to be. It was NOT the kind of person I wanted to be. Something had to change!
Here's the thing though, when it came right down to it I was yelling because nothing was working. No matter what I did or said the wedge between us continued to grow. The parenting strategies that I had used with my sons was not working now. I felt overwhelmed, exhausted and NOT like the good Mom I wanted to be.
I needed try something different.
I was sick of feeling stuck in a very negative cycle. I found myself wondering if she really wanted the fight and yelling any more than I did-who would choose that? Lots of times she seemed very "in control" of her choices, she seemed sure, and she seemed tough. But why would anyone choose to live like that day after day. Maybe she just didn't know how to do it any differently. I thought...could it be true?
And then I decided to test it.
I turned it around and met her where she was at by "naming" in my own head the backtalk, lying, stealing, yelling, and arguing as deficit. I began to realize she didn't have any other tools.
The further we went more clear the deficits became. She wasn't sure of herself at all and, as a matter of fact, she was scared. Scared to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and scared it was all going to end at any moment.
I also began to realize that as I met her where she was at things began to calm.
Yelling and arguing were happening less and less. I became more sure of myself as her Mom. Renewed energy followed and I finally had real clarity about how to help my daughters heal.
I found the keys to my Peaceful Kingdom. I found the keys to quieting the yelling and to ending the arguing.
What a wonderful shift for my whole family. What a wonderful relief to my own heart. Back to my old self!
Look, I know that I am not the only one that has had this struggle. As a matter of fact, every day I talk to Moms from all over the world who feel like crap because they just lost it. If this is you, don't stay there...YOU need to try something different too!
I want to teach you how to meet your child right where he's at. I'd like to personally invite you to jump into my Intentional Parent Coaching Group so that I can share the strategies and tools that will help you get there. Things can be so much more doable!
Just click this link to get you started building your Peaceful Kingdom.
See you in Group!