I have a question for you...how many times have you felt like you were failing your child?
Trust me you are not alone in this kind of thinking. Many moms say the same thing and, as a matter of fact, it really leads to so many not liking themselves very much.
I was just talking to a mom yesterday who shared the fact that she was pretty sure SHE was the problem in the equation. That her child didn't have issues when they were with other people and that the only time he acted out was when he was home with her.
Hear me Loud and Clear - YOU are NOT the problem in the equation!
You are the one sure constant. You are the center of your child's world. You are his regulation and his hope. You are who he is most afraid to lose.
I know it doesn't feel like it or look like it lots of times. I have totally been there. However, what I know for sure is that when you look "behind" the hard behaviors, ugly words, and overall disconnect, there is a child who doesn't feel worthy of goodness. He can't believe you can love him or will choose to forever. Those core beliefs are misleading him.
And the behaviors and words that cover that kind of vulnerability are misleading YOU!
Here's the thing...to create new brain wiring and to integrate new core beliefs can take a long time. It takes practice and consistency. It takes a solid safety net.
YOU are your child's best chance at healing! You are the Safety Net.
Questioning yourself is questioning the strength of the adult who he hopes will finally stick with him, who will love and accept him no matter how "ugly" he believes he is, and who will be there forever this time! He gets scared and pushes you away with his words and behavior so he doesn't have to feel the familiar pain he's felt before.
I hear you..."Stacy, it's NOT easy." NO it is NOT!
Helping our children to heal is probably the most difficult thing most of us have ever done. When things get hard it's important to ask for help, gather the right tools, and make sure you have a plan. If you don't, you might begin to look at yourself as the issue - and that is no way to live.
It is SO important to stop questioning yourself. For you. For your child. For your whole family.
Things can be so much better. I have worked hard to create a "place" that is where you can get the essentials you are missing...input and answers from people in the trenches and people on the other side, a new perspective, tools and strategies that work and an Intentional Parent Action Plan.
Come and be part of this movement. This healing army of parents just like you. Moms and Dads who want things to be different for themselves, their child and their whole family. Intentional Parents who are fighting for their children to feel loved, secure, and safe and to know that no matter what, YOU are not going anywhere.
Join me in the Intentional Parent Coaching Group and let's make things happen! JOIN US!
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