Not Fitting In When You're An Adoptive Or Foster Parent

Before I adopted my girls, I was part of a mom's group. We had play dates, field trips, and moms night out. My boys loved playing with the other kids and I loved visiting with the other moms while the kiddos all played. 


We talked about life. Parenting. The joys and the challenges. It fueled me and gave me a place where I belonged.


Then things changed. We adopted 3 girls. I became a mom to 6 young kids. My girls came with pain, grief, and anxiety. And with that came a lot of behaviors. Needless to say, our day to day changed. 


I was exhausted and worn out. But I knew how much better I felt after mom's group so we went. But it was different. It just didn't feel the same.


I was parenting differently. My girls couldn't just go off and play while I checked out and hung out with the other moms. My girls needed me. Close by. Engaged. With them. 


The conversations were different. My struggles were now different from the others. I was dealing with deep loss, grief, and a whole new level of struggle. 
I no longer fit. I left feeling alone.


Back then there was very little support for adoptive and foster parents. So I stayed home. Trying my best, but lots of days just surviving.


It was lonely. My friends didn't understand. My family didn't get it. I felt like I was the only one. Doing it alone. 


Until. Until I said I'm not the only one. So...I reached out. I spoke out honestly about what we were going through. I found others on the journey. Others who understood what I was feeling, understood what we were going through. Understood because they lived it. 

To feel like you're not the only one, to be surrounded by those who truly get it, is crucial on this journey. It's a mistake to try to do this alone. Trust me, I know. Luckily, things have changed since I began this journey nearly 17 years ago. There now is support.

If you're an adoptive, foster, step or kinship parent...you belong in my coaching group. There you'll get your questions answered, be empowered with tools & strategies that work, and be surrounded by the best support out there! 
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Join us today. 
http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html