So many Adoptive & Foster Parents come to me for help with fixing their kids.
They're stuck. Nothing seems to work. They're tired. They've tried "everything" and their child just won't change. He won't try harder. She clearly doesn't care. There's no respect. He just keeps doing the same thing over and over again and he/she is ruining our family!
Here's the thing...putting your focus on changing your child is not where you should put your energy if you are looking to move your family to happy and healthy!
Your Adopted or Foster Child's hurdles are deeply deeply rooted in the impacts of trauma, grieving, and life experiences. Expecting them to change means changing core beliefs and values. It means healing brain wiring. It means asking them to do or believe something their brain is NOT wired to do or believe. This kind of change could take a lifetime and it for sure takes safe (emotionally and physically), consistent, understanding, and intentional parenting.
Really, YOU have a much better chance of getting you all to Happy and Healthy when YOU do the changing. When you learn to meet your child right where he's at, YOU create opportunities for success. You create a nurturing environment where new core beliefs are born - beliefs that lead to trust, understanding, and self worth. You create the safety your child's brain needs to create new wiring. Wiring that allows him to be regulated, have healthy relationships, and feel connected.
Trying to change your child is exhausting and doing the same thing over and over even if it doesn't work is frustrating. You need to parent from a different angle than other parents or than the way you were parented. Your Adopted or Foster Child comes from a different place.
Change your perspective, your tools and strategies so that you are meeting your child where he is at and the shift will be what you've been waiting for!
P.S. Let me help you know how to change so that you can get your family to Happy and Healthy. Becoming an Intentional Parent is what it's all about! Join us today in the Intentional Parent Coaching Group. Click here.