Out of the Box Thinking for Adoptive & Foster Parents

Out of the box. Pretty sure I’ve always been an Out of the Box thinker. A big thinker. Not afraid to do things differently. But I have to say…when I began this journey of parenting my 3 adopted daughters, that’s when “the rubber meets the road” really happened in terms of out the box thinking.

Before my girls had joined our family, I’d been parenting for several years. We had 3 bio sons and things were going well. I was a good mom. In fact, I was a really good mom. Enter parenting adopted kiddos. Things changed. Drastically.

What I was doing was no longer working. At all. And believe me, I tried everything. Nothing was working. My strategies, my tools & techniques, were not working with my girls. And…I no longer felt like a good mom.

My girls came with deep, deep loss. The loss of their family. The loss of their culture. The loss of their home. But most importantly, the loss of their primary attachment…their biological mom.

My girls came to me as survivors. They’d been through A LOT. Of course they were survivors. And with that came behaviors that worked in terms of surviving, but not in terms of being in a family.

My girls came to me with fear. Fear of losing another family. Fear of losing it all…again.

My girls came to me with a lack of trust. Understandable for sure. The one person who was to protect them, the person that they were wired for, the person they depended on let them down. They had no reason to believe I was someone they could count on, someone they could trust to protect them, someone they could trust their heart with.

And so I needed new tools. New strategies. Ones that met them right where they were at. Ones that took into consideration all the things that came with the loss and trauma that have impacted them. 

It’s now 17 years later, and wow does it look different. A whole lot different!

My girls are no longer survivors.

They no longer have such fear that stops them in up in all they do. They take chances. They are confident. They are becoming sure of who they are.

They trust. They trust that I will always be there for them. They know they can count on me. Know that I’ll protect them. Know they can trust me with their heart.

We have come a long way. There were days, weeks, and months I never thought we’d get to here. But we did.

I share this with you to give you HOPE. Hope when getting to Happy & Healthy seems impossible. Hope when you feel like you’re not a good mom. Hope when you feel like nothing’s working. HOPE. Happy & Healthy IS possible. My family is proof of it.

With dedication to helping your family to Happy and Healthy,
Stacy Manning

P.S. I'd love to teach you tools and strategies that work. Join me in the Intentional Parent Coaching Group. You'll be empowered with tools & techniques and surrounded with the best support out there. 
http://www.tohavehope.com/intentional-parent-coaching-group.html