The other day I was talking with a mom about her adopted child. She said "He just keeps choosing to be disrespectful at school."
Oh man do I remember those days...the ones where I just kept get getting stuck in the belief that my daughter could do it better if she just chose to. There were so many disrespectful, self-centered, and purposefully defiant moments in our life - well that's what I thought anyway. Here's the thing...as long as I kept labeling those behaviors the same way over and over, nothing changed! And just like the mom I was talking to - I was MAD most of the time. I finally decided I wanted more for my life. I wanted more for my child and I wanted more for my whole family. I had a hunch on what might work so I decided to go for it. I began to do everything I could to meet each of my children right where they are at. WOW, what a difference! The shift for all of us was huge. Becoming clear on who my whole child was and parenting from there changed everything. My child was more successful. I could let go of the mad stuff and actually our whole family was happier and more healthy. What a relief! The good news is that when you learn to meet your child where he is at, you will get very clear on the fact that so much is NOT A CHOICE. Your child is not choosing to be disrespectful or self-centered. He is hitting hurdles daily. The impacts of trauma are huge and invisible. It's not as it seems! Look, you can do this too. I totally believe in you. As a matter of fact, what I am VERY sure of is that YOU are your child's best chance of healing. You using tools and strategies that work for your kiddos is the ticket! In the Intentional Parent Coaching Group, we talk weekly about things like trauma, grief and loss, deficit versus defiance, and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, how to meet YOUR child right where he is at. And as importantly, we get your action plan in place - what to do and say in the moment! Let's get your pan pulled together so you can get some relief! Join me in the Intentional Parent Coaching Group - JOIN US!
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