Hope Connections - Support for Adoptive Families and Support for Foster Families
  • Parents
    • Getting Your Family to Happy & Healthy >
      • Free Training Get Started
      • Getting Your Family to HAPPY & HEALTHY
    • CONNECT: Support for Adoptive Parents & Foster Parents
    • Blog for Adoptive Parents & Foster Parents
    • Book for Adoptive Parents
    • Bundles - SPECIAL >
      • Bundle: Success at School
  • Teachers
    • IMPACT - Tools for Trauma Informed Teachers
    • Free Teacher Training
    • Blog for Trauma Informed Teachers
  • Parents
    • Getting Your Family to Happy & Healthy >
      • Free Training Get Started
      • Getting Your Family to HAPPY & HEALTHY
    • CONNECT: Support for Adoptive Parents & Foster Parents
    • Blog for Adoptive Parents & Foster Parents
    • Book for Adoptive Parents
    • Bundles - SPECIAL >
      • Bundle: Success at School
  • Teachers
    • IMPACT - Tools for Trauma Informed Teachers
    • Free Teacher Training
    • Blog for Trauma Informed Teachers

Strong Messages

4/5/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
I was sitting behind a mom and her two sons the other day and it was all I could do to not lean forward and compliment her on what an incredible son she has and suggest that she see this young man more clearly. Yes, I know that would have been rude...so I didn't, but oh how he needed her to have this skill!

Her younger son (2nd or 3rd grader maybe?) was a big hand-full, maybe ADHD, and the setting we were in begged that he sit calmly and quietly. Well, he wasn't doing very well on his own but his older brother ( suppose 13 or so) was incredible with him. He soothed him, entertained him silently, hugged him and had him sit on his lap when he was antsy. Mom was pretty unplugged at this time. She let big brother handle the situation. Unfortunately, it all imploded. Big brother turned to pay attention to what was happening at the front of the room and little brother lost it. He couldn't regulate on his own. He started kicking big brother...big brother lost his temper and gave him a look. Then little brother poked at big brother in multiple other ways...and big brother was done. He got very upset and quietly let little brother know where he was at emotionally. Mom caught this exchange and proceeded to let big brother know that she was unhappy with his behavior. I am behind them thinking...what?? This is an injustice! You are so missing what is happening here. As she proceeded to cuddle up little brother, big brother's feelings were SO hurt! He just looked at her in disbelief and then turned away. 

Oh Mom, you sent a strong message and I don't think it was the one you wanted to send. Yes, you were SO patient with your little guy. Clearly you understand his special needs, but your older son needed you to SEE him too. As Intentional Parents, we really need to see each of our children as the whole person they are and to be able to meet them right where they are at. The older brother in my story needed his Mom to see how hard he had tried, how patient he had been and how he was just a young man too and didn't know how to handle it any longer. I just kept hoping Mom would see both of her sons.
​

As parents, we are so powerful in the building up or tearing down of our children's view of themselves, their ability to have strong healthy relationships and their belief that they can make a positive impact in the world. WE MUST be INTENTIONAL! Do it differently if necessary! Meet each of our children right where they are at.

Remember...you are NOT alone!
Stacy Manning       . 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Sign Up to Receive Our Blog Posts

    * indicates required
    Email Format
    Picture
    ​
    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Adoption
    Holidays
    Intentional Parent
    Parenting
    School
    Self Care
    Support

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    May 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2012
    February 2012

CONTACT HOPE CONNECTIONS
Email - clientcare@tohavehope.com


​Privacy Policy
Cookies Policy

​
HOURS
Monday 1pm-4pm CST
Tuesday-Thursday 9am-3pm CST
Friday 9am-12pm CST
Closed on weekends & holidays