Okay so when people ask me for a parenting tip that really works this is the FIRST one I give!
There are three reasons why I share this one first... 1. Anyone can choose to do it! 2. You can start immediately! 3. It works every time! Here's the thing...YOU are your child's best chance at healing and being as successful as possible! Getting the ugly stuff out of the way of your relationship is HUGE! So, my (not very difficult - on paper) tip is...Start Over Every Day or Every Hour or Every Minute! Yep...Start Over! Here are 5 steps you can choose to get there... 1.Stop talking 2. Look at the whole situation - your whole child (deficits, history, bigger picture, anxiety, etc). 3. Re-frame it for what it really is - (too much for my child, too many transitions, fear, anxiety, grief, a trigger, etc). 4. Forgive - your child, yourself, your friend or family member, etc. 5. Still no talking - no big heart to hearts, explanations of what you are doing, excuses or arguments. 6. Start over - start new whenever necessary (no, typically consequences don't even work anyway...this is about the healing of a child who, among other things, isn't great at doing relationships - punishing a deficit is pretty pointless). One thing I know for sure...Starting Over is the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do to help your child, much less you and your whole family! However, I also know that on paper it seems easy, but in real life there are times when it seems like the last thing you can or want to do. It is truly a CHOICE we have to make. The great thing is that it is a choice that makes all the difference! Have you tried it on a consistent basis? Having trouble? Come on over to Facebook and let's talk about it...you CAN do this but lots of times it helps to talk it out! I look forward to hearing from you!
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