Hope Connections - Support for Adoptive Families and Support for Foster Families
  • Parents
    • Getting Your Family to Happy & Healthy >
      • Free Training Get Started
      • Getting Your Family to HAPPY & HEALTHY
    • CONNECT: Support for Adoptive Parents & Foster Parents
    • Blog for Adoptive Parents & Foster Parents
    • Book for Adoptive Parents
    • Bundles - SPECIAL >
      • Bundle: Success at School
  • Teachers
    • IMPACT - Tools for Trauma Informed Teachers
    • Free Teacher Training
    • Blog for Trauma Informed Teachers
  • Parents
    • Getting Your Family to Happy & Healthy >
      • Free Training Get Started
      • Getting Your Family to HAPPY & HEALTHY
    • CONNECT: Support for Adoptive Parents & Foster Parents
    • Blog for Adoptive Parents & Foster Parents
    • Book for Adoptive Parents
    • Bundles - SPECIAL >
      • Bundle: Success at School
  • Teachers
    • IMPACT - Tools for Trauma Informed Teachers
    • Free Teacher Training
    • Blog for Trauma Informed Teachers

The Bedtime Battle Without Casualties 

4/25/2016

1 Comment

 
Picture
One of the biggest struggles reported by parents is BEDTIME. Families dealing with children who won't stay in their beds, who have tantrums, and take forever to fall asleep (just to mention a few). Unfortunately, bedtime becomes Battle-time.

Here's the thing, the issue is that we are not seeing the big picture. The battle can be won (without any casualties) if we are intentional about bedtime.  There are so many variables to consider...some of which we have a lot to say about and some we do not. Those that we have a lot to say about begin with us (the parents, the mature ones, the ones whose job it is to keep everyone safe and healthy and the ones who ultimately are supposed to make good choices for our family) - no pressure! 

Parents: The first thing we need to do is get our stuff out of the way before anything else will work. The second thing we have the most control over is really knowing our whole child and really knowing what bedtime means to him/her. With these two steps in place, we can handle anything. 

We can make sure we stick with our routine no matter what. We can make sure our children get to sleep early enough that they don't get too tired and have to deal with the implications of the release of Cortisol when they are over tired. We can understand that the dark can bring up feelings of abandonment and therefore trigger our children. Anxiety can be decreased by being emotionally plugged into our children during our bedtime routine so they don't have to draw us in with behavior. Finally, we can meet our children right where THEY are at - not get caught up in what other families are doing at bedtime, what our parents did, or even what we thought we would do.

Be INTENTIONAL. Slow down, think outside the box, move your old expectations and do what is best for your child, even if it is totally different than anyone else you know. In our crazy and chaotic world, bedtime really gives us a very rare opportunity to send strong nurturing messages to our children - you are valuable, you are loved no matter what, and your needs are important. Wow! The scene just went from battleground to Peaceful Kingdom. Who lives in a Peaceful Kingdom? A strong, healthy, connected family!   

1 Comment
Krissy
10/29/2017 06:58:55 pm

I’ve been slowly trying to discover more re my Thraputic foster child(OZ) Miss 9 who wakes herself up constantly when falling asleep. Her counselor has said it’s due to neglect and attachment disorder. Because ‘mummy’ wasn’t there a lot at start of life (drugs) miss 9 couldn’t attach and struggles to know she exists when she goes to sleep. I Also have a friend who is 50 and adopted said she remembers the day when she was about 21 that she looked in the mirror and she actually sore herself for the first time. She said she didn’t exist before that in a weird way. Amazing. She hasn’t talked yet about what she was seeing all those years before but attachment issues seem to be a factor. I find it fascinating. What this is called?

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Sign Up to Receive Our Blog Posts

    * indicates required
    Email Format
    Picture
    ​
    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Adoption
    Holidays
    Intentional Parent
    Parenting
    School
    Self Care
    Support

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    May 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2012
    February 2012

CONTACT HOPE CONNECTIONS
Email - clientcare@tohavehope.com


​Privacy Policy
Cookies Policy

​
HOURS
Monday 1pm-4pm CST
Tuesday-Thursday 9am-3pm CST
Friday 9am-12pm CST
Closed on weekends & holidays