I have to tell you, I have about had it!
Every day another story of a child or a family hurt because no one has prepared them. It is not just the child that is hurting, it is the whole family unit. (adoptive, foster, kinship, grand, etc) It just makes me so frustrated!
Yes, I know there is some support, but it is scattered at best! And lack of support and education is NOT the only problem. Families report over and over that important information was not shared with them in regards to their child's journey, they feel manipulated and unprepared. Reality is that even if these families are finding some kind of help, they ARE UNPREPARED; they don't even have all the information they need to meet their child's needs. This happens in International Adoption extensively and it certainly isn't okay, but there are many variables that lend itself to information not making it into the right hands. BUT what I really don't understand is how can this happen in the United States - in this information age? Something is VERY wrong!
I have met many, many loving, kind, giving people - who felt called to help make sure every child has a family - and, my friends, the stories they tell are unthinkable. Many feel hopeless and helpless. They signed on to assist their counties and countries in raising up these children, but were left to manage all alone without education support and the information they needed to help their child heal. Many carry the pain of feeling like they failed their child over and over again. Their families are in shambles as a result of years of trauma. They look at their child's struggles later in life as something that could have been avoided if they only knew what to do. Clearly, they shouldn't - they did their best, but they are good people who are now hurt people.
Here's the thing. We have to start talking about this. Loudly and clearly. Start demanding change. Agencies, counties, law makers all have to know that placing a child in a family just isn't enough - they can't just place a child and wipe their hands of it. Just tell themselves that all is right with the world. A band-aid is only going to help for a very short while. If we are going to help children heal, if we are going to support families in flourishing, there is a WHOLE LOT MORE to the puzzle.