The other day I was listening to a woman talk about the power of positive thinking. She had been diagnosed with cancer and person after person had come to her and said I don’t know how you stay so positive through all of this. She truly believes her POSITIVE THINKING changed her life.
That got me thinking to about being in the trenches. When faced with struggles and challenges, it can be hard to stay positive. Hard to stay hopeful. Add to that complete exhaustion, and it can feel nearly impossible.
I remember those days in the trenches as an adoptive parent. It was hard to stay positive.
I’ve always been a positive, hopeful person, but my girls came to me hurting. Grieving. Struggling. Hopeless. Feeling unworthy and unlovable. And that quickly turned into acting out. Tantrums. Meltdowns. Push back behaviors. And my hopefulness and positive attitude went out the window.
Here’s the problem…when I lost hope, my kiddos couldn’t have hope. In fact, even my husband couldn’t have hope. And my negative attitude did nothing to help the problem, it only made things worse. A whole lot worse.
So I needed to shift my attitude. Well, let me rephrase that. I chose to change my attitude. I chose to focus on positive thinking. I chose to hold onto hope.
Now, that doesn’t mean I look at things unrealistically. I don’t. In fact, I look at where my kiddos are very clearly, very realistically. I meet each one of them where they are at. But I look at that with a positive outlook. An attitude of I AM making difference. We ARE working on things. My child DOES have a bright future. And I WILL do whatever I can to help them reach that. It’s what they deserve. As an Intentional Parent, it’s my job!
There are times, my attitude gets a little shaky. My hope waivers. That’s when I remind myself of how far we’ve come and where we’re headed.
So…focus on the positive. Look at how far you’ve come. Even though you may feel like it at times, you’re not throwing in the towel. You are working hard at helping your child heal. REALLY hard. And focus on where you want to be headed!
The future is BRIGHT and you are going to make it happen!