I've been spending some time in a vacation rental while in Green Bay visiting family, so as my kids say, we have "Good TV." Anyway I have been able to watch the Property Brothers over and over - boy I love it! For those of you that don't know them, they basically help a family buy a fixer upper house and make it into their dream home. But here's the thing, as I watched multiple episodes I realized that our job as parents of hurt children is just not that far from what those brothers are doing...we're just not on TV!
First, it's about being able to see past the not so pretty outside and know what the potential really is...having a vision!
Second, comes demo day. For the Property Brothers, demolition is only a few days long, but for us undoing the old beliefs, healing pain, and working to catch our kids up in every area is probably the longest part of the journey.
Third, comes the reality of the project and that is that as you start to move the old stuff out (pull down walls, remove plaster, etc); there tends to be foundational stuff that really needs attention before anything else can happen (old dangerous wiring, leaky pipes, saggy floors). Now the whole job has changed...not what you expected! Lots of unknown at play here. This is really the deeper part of demo.
Finally, when the foundation is strengthened and the safety precautions have been put in place and the walls have been moved and then smoothed out, the pretty stuff can begin to be put in place. The paint, the tiles, flooring, the decor, etc. Even this step takes time and experimentation...you really want it to all fit together, to flow and to feel like home.
The reality is that whether you are the Property Brothers or an Intentional Parent, the process is important. The really important fact is that there is an order it needs to follow. The basics have to be dealt with before the pretty stuff! You have to take things step by step. The foundation has to be in good shape before big changes can be made. The process includes unknowns, many surprises and most of the time it is important that we are able to tweak our expectations a bit (or a lot).
So, while the Property Brothers are out to create a dream home, YOU are healing a heart and creating a family that is flourishing...YOU really deserve the TV show. I like this idea, how about you?