When we adopted 18 years ago, we had great support from family and friends. They were excited. They were happy for us. And they really supported us.
Not too long after our girls came home, things got a little chaotic. We suddenly had 6 kids aged 6 and under. My girls came with a lot of grief and struggles.
I was exhausted and lots of days was doing my best to just get us all to bedtime. Sound familiar?
We pulled in. Hunkered close to home. We kept our world small to help my girls adjust, and more importantly, connect and attach. It’s exactly what they needed. Things calmed down. A LOT.
But that’s when there seemed to be a shift. Family and friends didn’t understand the changes we made. They didn’t understand because they didn’t see the struggles. They didn’t live it.
I felt judged. Questioned. Doubted.
I felt ALONE.
I tried to explain. I tried to not take it personally. But it was hard. It was hurtful.
That’s when I sought out those on the journey. Those who truly understood.
When I was surrounded by that kind of support, I was able to let go of the hurt.
My family and friends loved me. They wanted the best for my family...and for me. They just couldn’t necessarily understand it. So I chose to give grace.
It wasn’t always easy, and I didn’t always do it well. And along the way we did lose some friends.
I needed to do what was best for my kiddos. 18 years later, I am confident I did that. The well-being of my kiddos far outweighs what others think about me or my parenting.
Know that you are doing what’s best for your family! Surround yourself with the support of those who understand and give grace to those who don’t.
You got this...and you’re not alone!