Have you ever gotten to the point when you actually wondered if your child had more wrong with him then just attachment issues or trauma stuff...like, I mean really scary, sociopath stuff that will never heal?
It's not easy to admit. It's not where we want our lives to be. It's not what we want for our children. However, there can be times of such dis-regulation, sadness, confusion, and aggression that the fear of this possibility sets in for us as parents.
I've talked to so many families who are dealing with the constant struggle with hard behaviors such as lying, stealing, or aggression.
They also report that their children don't feel bad or never says "I'm sorry."
And...it all seems to be getting bigger & bigger. They say the feel LOST and don't know what to do anymore.
They're AFRAID. Afraid it'll never change. Sometimes afraid for their other children. And even afraid for themselves.
I GET IT. We've been there and I never want to experience it again. I never want my children to be that hurt and scared ever again either.
You are not alone. You're not doing it wrong. And most importantly, the majority of the time, your child isn't a budding sociopath.
DON'T Be AFRAID. Fear breeds fear.
When a human being, in this case your child, senses your fear and anxiety, it immediately raises his or hers as well.
When our children are afraid or feel unsafe they fight to gain control - they're survivors. The fight is very real to them. Typically it includes harder behaviors, louder, more painful words, or just plain going away physically and or emotionally and more.
It makes things worse.
Fear sets in when you've exhausted everything you know.
Fear blinds you when you're feeling alone.
Fear feeds off of being emotionally challenged day in and day out.
Fear dictates the quality of your life.
Fear continues to exist as long as we let it...fear needs to be fought off!
YOU CAN STOP BEING AFRAID.
You need tools that work, different tools and strategies then you know right now. If you're afraid of your child or how his future looks it's time to try something new.
When we're doing it alone, it's easy to lose objectivity and clarity, which creates a perfect place for fear to flourish. Fight fear by being surrounded by other people walking your same path. By those who have made it to the other side who can say, "Oh yeah, we lived through that too and it will be okay. Here's what to do and say."
The intensity of this journey can take its toll and fear creeps in the cracks. Being intentional about filling yourself up with support and health will strengthen you to fight off your fears.
Your family deserves Happy and Healthy and fear can rob you of that without a fight. Having an action plan in place that is all about meeting your kiddos right where they're at is how you increase the quality of your life.
The reality of the hurts, fears, sadness, missed milestones, confusion, lack of self-worth, irrational beliefs, and other hurdles your children fight each day can make life daunting.
It does take specialized and intentional parenting.
It does mean we have to show our children they deserve a No Matter What & For As Long As It Takes relationship...which is YOU.
They do get intense and misunderstood. And they do get scary.
The good news is...You CAN handle it and you don't have to be afraid!
This is the kind of stuff the Intentional Parent Coaching Group was created from. The reality that we should not do this alone. The need to discover new ways to parent that meet our children right where they are at. The added strength and power that comes from being surrounded by other Parents who are fighting the same good fight. The clarity that comes with being heard and understood.
I want to personally invite you to come and be a part of my Coaching Group.
Your fears will fade away and all of that energy will be directed into making your healing plan work. Your family will feel the shift you have been looking for.
No More Letting Fear Rule Your Family's Life!
P.S. Unfortunately, there is a very small percentage of children who have been so hurt by their life experiences that living in a family is just too much. It is ultimately our job to keep them and the rest of our family safe (including YOURSELF). I am in no way suggesting that any family should endure physical or emotional abuse.